We were honest from the very beginning. Elizabeth was 7 years old and Conner was 9 when Marty was diagnosed. We explained in terms they could understand. Their first fear was that he would die. Of course, we couldn't promise that wouldn't happen but explained we had to trust God for everything.
I remember spending a evening with them in my bed crying. It was tough for them to process at first and we did a lot of praying. As time went on they as well as we accepted the diagnosis. We adjusted to our new life and took it all in stride.
There were times they worried, when they did they came to us and we prayed together. I think hiding things would have compounded the issue. That way they knew nothing was being hidden and they didn't have to hide their feelings from us.
Constant dialogue and open communication is key. They went with us to appointments, helped with keeping dialysis supplies stocked and understood times when we had to go away.
Truthfully, the hardest part wasn't until the very end. When Marty was transplanted and they had to stay away from us for a month. That was the hardest part and the thing they struggled with the most. Thankfully we had many family members and trusted friends who were there for them during that time.
Prayer, honesty and open communication are key. Hiding and sheilding them would have only compounded issues. It was something God ordained in our lives and they had to learn at a young age to trust in him and walk through difficult times.
I hope this serves them well later in life. I think they both will handle tough times in stride and weather storms a bit easier. They've learned life lessons that most kids their age haven't. They are still just kids who love to be kids. They just understand how to deal with difficulty situations when they arise.
Maybe this will help others facing trials and tribulations. We did the best we could under pressure and the kids seem to have survived just fine. We directed them to our heavenly Father and taught them he is sovereign and in control.
"Train up a child in the way he should go and he will never depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
