I used to think I was fat, then one day I was....

I remember in Jr. High and High School, I always thought I was fat. Constantly dieting in Jr.High to be thinner. It was the late 80's and skinny jeans ruled. Always having curves, I thought that I was overweight. In high school I was not super skinny but still not fat. I swam on the swim team and was very active. Body image was always a struggle for me in those years.

127 lbs graduating high school. My skinny days

I graduated, started working odd hours at Disneyland. 3 am trips to Denny's after work didn't help matters and I stopped exercising. I started slowly but surely gaining weight and suddenly realized, I had been thin.

The Disneyland days. Marty and I's engagement picture

I got married, had Conner a year and half later and became a busy working wife and mom. My Grandmothers were women who put their families ahead of themselves and that was something I learned from them. I remember Grandma telling me "It's not about you anymore" once I had Conner. 

Growing up, everyone in my family struggled with weight issues. My grandma's both were of short stature like myself and constantly battled when they were my age. My aunts and parents struggled with weight at one time or another.

Also facing chronic illness on both sides of the family, I am working hard to prevent heart disease, auto immune disorders and kidney failure. My family health history isn't pretty for the most part and I have a lot to battle in that department.

When I moved to Visalia, I weighed 202 lbs. I worked hard to lose fifty lbs and kept it off for three years. Then my Gramie died and I started gaining it back. Then several life changing events in the next three years caused stress and I just kept gaining.

Pregnant with Elizabeth, I managed to keep my first weight loss off

My heaviest ever. I saw this picture and it really motivated me to lose weight

Marty was diagnosed with end stage renal disease in 2007 and I ballooned to my highest weight ever during his sickness.  By the time he was well, I knew it was time for a change for everyone. We started riding our bikes, walking and working out together. 

Last year I met several people online who had completed major weight losses of their own. It inspired me to start my own weight loss journey. I set several benchmark goals for myself and so far I've met every one of them by the time allotted. 

My first goal was several five lb weight loss goals. Then my second goal was to be under 200 lbs by Olympic swim trials which I met. Then my third goal was to have hit 50lbs lost by the time of the Olympics. I am ten lbs away from that goal and think I can do it.

 It's not about looking good or being "thin" . I am blessed to have a husband who loves me no matter what size I am. It's just about feeling good, being healthy and taking care of myself. For the first time in nearly 15 years, I am doing something just for myself. 

So far, the proof has been in the mirror. I have been able to see myself getting thinner, Marty and the kids have been so encouraging. I am not only doing this for myself but for them. I hope to teach my kids healthy eating and being active is important. 

I have more energy, I am not tired and sore like I was before. I feel great and look forward to feeling even better. My new overall goal is to lose fifty more lbs for a 100 lb overall weight loss. After I hit my fifty lb goal my next goal is 70lbs lost by January 2013.  Then 30 lbs by April 2013 which will put me at the 100 lb mark. 

When I hit that goal, I intend to enjoy being that weight and not for once think of myself as fat. I learned that lesson the hard way. Being heavier, I never hated myself or felt badly, I just learned that I didn't have good body image before and vowed to never think that way about myself again. So the mental issue has been overcome for a long time, now to overcome the weight issue. I am well on my way.

Last August

One day the kids noticed that my face was thinner than in the picture above. It was so exciting!

My friend Andrea came to visit last year. One year later and I could really see the results of my hard work

Finally happy with what I am starting to see in the mirror. 40lbs lighter

My First Triathlon

When I started swimming again a few months ago, I set a goal to do a triathlon this year. Our local triathlon was schedule for today and I thought, "Why not?" and started working hard training. I choose a sprint distance or baby tri as I call it. 1/4 mile swim, 9 mile ride and two mile run. I swim and ride that far on a regular basis, really the run was my major concern.

The day came all too quickly. This morning as the alarm went off, my first thought was " Am I really doing this? What was I thinking?" and since my bag was packed and the bike was loaded in the truck, I decided there was no turning back.

Of course, I got there and saw all the seasoned triathletes and that brought my thinking to "I am going to embarrass myself, please God let me not embarrass myself!" I set out my transition area, which my friend Julie had well prepared me for and started stretching.

No turning back now!

It was a beautiful morning. A huge storm rolled in after the race.

I had to ask around for swim times to decide which lane to get in. I went with the time I had recently swam at practice. Unfortunately, I got in a lane that was too slow for me and had to keep passing women which interrupted my swim. The swim was a cake walk other than that. 400 yds is my daily warm up, so it felt fast.

I ran out and quickly changed into my riding and running outfit. I had decided against buying a tri suit for my first time out. I regret this decision now but know for next time. My transition was smooth ( thanks again Julie) and I headed out on the bike. I just couldn't get comfortable in the saddle and never found a good pace. I ride this distance normally but never have ridden that route. Once again, something I know now for the future. At the end of the ride, I began to realize, I was one of the last riders out on the road, if not the last.

I rolled in and put my bike away, tightened my shoes and ran off. Immediately, I got a stitch in my side and running was difficult. I was warned by my twitter friend Kim about this and so I pushed through. On the second mile, I found my stride and by the last 1/2 mile I got the runner's high and my feet just kept going. I really thought I was dead last, seemed like everyone was ahead of me. I was trying to catch a lady in front of me and that kept me motivated.

As I swam and rode today, I went down my prayer list and prayed for so many friends. Friends with cancer,   Friends with chronic conditions, a friend speaking at a memorial service, friends struggling with worry, Patrick who recently had a heart transplant and is in serious condition, and the last leg, I thought about Janet and how the whole world is watching her comeback. So what if I finished last? I didn't know anyone there besides Marty and the kids and they were proud. Plus, I recieved hundreds of comments on Twitter and Facebook cheering me on, I am loved and supported by many. I could feel that carrying me through. I literally cried reading all of the messages of support.

I finished in two hours, this was the time I figured it would take me. I was hoping for 1:45 but it didn't happen. I finished and I wasn't last! The best thing was Conner and Elizabeth were waiting at the finish and ran to hug me the moment I crossed the line. Marty was waiting with my bike and gave me a huge hug. That was the only thing I needed.

Elizabeth bravely did her first tri last year and inspired me to do my own. Conner is my bike mechanic and had my bike in tip top shape. They train with me and keep me company on the journey. So it was only fitting they were at the line. Marty too, he has put up with me running off to swim every evening and he pays for my adventures to boot!

I am tired and slightly sore. I took a fabulous nap this afternoon and a lot of the soreness went away. I got a massage after the race and that helped a lot.

Thanks to my friends Lei, Ronda and Darci for being my virtual workout buddies. These Momma's are so encouraging and supportive. Thanks to Mike, Lisa, and Andrea for the running inspiration and encouragement. Thanks to Julie and Kim for all of the tri advice and encouragement. Also my Twitter besties   Kristi and Melinda, they always are encouraging me every morning and evening at workout time.

I definitely am hooked and will maybe do one again. First I have to help E train for her next Tri in June. Feels great to have accomplished something. I am proud of myself.

My loot

A/N: This morning I found out that I placed 5th in my age group and my time was 1:47:50 seconds which means I was only two minutes off my goal time! I am thrilled.

Two Things I Never Thought I Would Do!

Swim with Janet Evans and put a picture of myself in a bathing suit up on this blog! Today I did both!


Last year while visiting my Dad in the OC, I read a story in the Register about Janet Evans making a comeback for the 2012 Olympics. I thought that was so cool and didn't think much more about it. Growing up in Orange County during her Olympic reign she was the hometown hero. I was a swimming for our high school and of course she was a inspiration. It was great news to hear she was going for it.


 During our Atlanta vacation in October, I told the kids the story her passing the torch to Mohammed Ali as we passed the Olympic Park. The kids didn't know who she was but I showed them a video because it was a goosebump moment in Olympic history.

Recently a twitter friend Melissa was tweeting about her love for swimming. We both are pro cycling fans and the season was over, she warned us she would be tweeting about swimming...A LOT. I said that was fine that I didn't follow swimming but used to swim myself. Then I said, " How is Janet Evans doing with her comeback?" and she promptly tweeted that I should follow her and included her twitter handle. I was floored when Janet tweeted back to us.

We had a few back and forth exchanges which led to me telling her " Us OC girls gotta stick together" and she invited me to swim with her. I told her I didn't live there anymore but maybe someday would take her up on that.

As I wrote before, she inspired me to start working out and doing something for myself. She has encouraged me and I like to encourage her. We both rise early for different reasons. Her early rising and working out has led to me working out instead of going back to bed. She is my workout buddy in the mornings!

So this weekend when I mentioned I was in So.Cal for a family function Melissa immediately tweeted Janet and I to ask if we were going to swim together. My first instinct was "NO! I am not ready for getting in a bathing suit in public." Melissa got Janet in on the tweeting and before you knew it, I agreed.

I didn't plan on swimming so I had to buy a new Speedo,borrowed towels and a backpack from my Dad. My cousins Alex and Randon swim so I borrowed a cap and googles from them. I actually was able to wear a Stanford cap that I had bought them while there for Marty's transplant.

I was nervous about the whole thing until I met Janet, she put me right at ease. I cannot tell you enough about how lovely,humble and graceful she is. It was one of those moments in life when you know that you were meant to know someone. She is my kind of gal and I just absolutely fell in love with her personality today. I think I made a new friend today.

 I had nothing to be nervous about at all! What a wonderful feeling to swim like that after 15 years of swimming for fun. It was the best workout that I have had in years. It felt so good to be in the water it was like the spark was re-ignited. Janet told me to get out whenever I wanted. I swam in the lane next to her and watched her pass me over and over. I enjoyed swimming next to her. What a great motivator! I swam for about a hour not sure the exact distance because I wasn't paying attention. Then I got out and watched her swim.

I am so glad that I listened, so thankful for this opportunity. Something I never in a million years would have thought I would do. I am actually sad I can't do it again tomorrow! I am on a mission to start a Master's club in my area now. I've been wanting to join one for years and was unable to. Then when I finally could there isn't one in the area anymore.

Today was one of those days when I realized my life is back in motion. My close friend Gaby said " You look so happy" in the picture and I told her " I am happy, I finally have my life back". Last year when everyone said this would be our year, I didn't believe them. Now you can all say " I told you so!"

I look forward to working out and meeting my goals for myself. I am also looking forward to seeing Janet accomplish her goals also. I can't wait to watch the Olympics this summer and cheer her on. Thanks Janet for being who you are and encouraging me, it really means the world to me!

Happy Birthday Friend Series: Carrie( The First Birthday Blog)

Happy birthday Carrie, it has been wonderful to know you these past 20 years. Since you are my second oldest friend, I think I can write a tribute to you on my blog. So without further ado......


Have you ever heard the saying that at some point a girlfriend stops being a friend and becomes a sister? Well Carrie is like that to me. We never see each other and it has been about 10 years since we last saw one another, but we have always stayed in touch. It has been fun watching her family grow and seeing her as a mother, she is truly a natural born mother and wife.

Carrie and I met the second day of junior high at the bus stop, I had walked there from my apartment down the street. I had this uber cool friend Abbie, she was chic even at 12. Anyways, Abbie says to me " Don't talk to that girl, she is a nerd!" and looks over at Carrie who is leaning against the fence reading Anne of Green Gables. Right then I learned one of the most profound lessons in my life, Never judge a book by it's cover. Being one to always strike my own path, I talked to her because she was reading my most favorite book. We became fast friends, especially because we got put in the same homeroom together. Now poor Carrie got paired with a extremely hyper table mate who was obsessed with New Kids on the Block.

 Here is Carrie's favorite story to tell about that time: One day I told her " Hey come here, I have a secret to tell you" and when she leaned over I screamed at the top of my lungs in her ear and laughed hysterically. I was so wound up that day and had to get my energy out somehow, but poor Carrie she probably suffers from permanent hearing loss!

 We traversed the ugly path of jr high school and even took the most exciting trip of our lives together. We went to Washington,DC for our 8th grade trip, it was so fun to see history together and we both still talk about it to this day. We survived those crazy bus rides to school together and just today she said to me " Hey, when I heard New Kids were getting back together, I thought of you." and " I remember the story of you and Liviu!" she knows the story and I will tell you why.

One of the things Carrie would always do is share her love of Jesus with me. She grew up in a Christian home and loves the Lord, she was always telling me about God and sometimes I wasn't very nice about it.

When we moved on to high school we both had to walk to school. So for the next 3 years we walked to school together everyday back and forth. Boy, that was a experience, one time we got flashed and possibly almost abducted, it was awful!

So the story goes, I would talk Carrie into walking the longer way home so we could follow Liviu home. Poor Carrie, once again she fell prey to one of my hair brained schemes, I am cracking up writing this.

 The next year she joined swimming and got really mad at me because I copied her, I really loved it and I am so glad I copied her. She excelled in school and was the best student I knew, she ended up being our Salutatorian at graduation. High school was a bit rough on our friendship at times and we both went through some really tough things. She was always there for me with my family stuff and really knows a lot about my home life growing up. Her mom who I like to call Miss Nancy really encouraged me to be a good student and attend school ( she once called me because I missed five days with strep throat). Her mom would also give us rides when it rained and opened there home to me more than once. They had such a nice family and a super cool dog Bandit. Carrie joined me in Speech and Debate our senior year and we ended up winning two trophies together.

After high school she went on to college and I went on to working and being in LOVE. She was one of the first people I called to tell I was getting married. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and saw Conner right after he was born. I was able to go to her wedding and see her start out life with Chase. She is a wonderful wife and mother, very talented teacher and a good friend. I love you so much Carrie and I thank you for being a seed planter in my life. You never turned your back on me and stuck by me even when I didn't deserve it. Happy 32nd birthday my wonderful friend! psst, if you click on my title you can see what she looks like now.

Senior year:


In my wedding:


At her wedding, she was a beautiful bride: