MTTB Series: The Knack of Reality Bites

For My Jennay, Christena and my cousins:

This blog had already been planned, I was tweeting with my daily music group on Twitter about it this week and this morning one of my favorite tweeps mentioned something that made the blog come spilling out across the page.

The winter of 1994, I sat in a theater and watched a movie that I highly identified with in fact, I ended up dragging everyone person I knew to watch that movie as the summer months wore on because it was at the dollar theater. Friends, cousins, anyone who would go with me. The soundtrack was played on loop endlessly in my car, my bedroom, my friends cars, I was obsessed. It was the first movie that I ever identified with so strongly though it really didn't match anything in my life at the time.

Jules circa 1994

The character played by Winona Ryder was a mix between me and my friend Christena. She reminded me of us and our style at the time. We were kind of her and she was kind of us. I think Christena will understand what I mean by this statement. I actually am a bit more like the Jeanne Garofalo character...except I am a goody two shoes.

There is a scene in the movie, where the group of friends goes to the gas station to get food. Lanie's dad had given her a gas card for graduation and they could charge the snacks. As they are in the gas station, the song ''My Sharona'' comes across the radio in the store. What happens next is one of my favorite scenes in a movie..ever ( and no, I have never smoked pot in my life, so don't think I was a stoner because people really? me a stoner? I am crazy enough without drugs)

Now I had heard this song before, it meant nothing to me. Every single time that I have heard this song since seeing this movie, I have immediately thought of this scene and did the same exact dance Jeanne does in the film. Now granted, I already danced this way before. Truly, this is my dance that I do whenever I dance, so sad but so true. I am a nerd, I admit it.

When my friend Jenni got married, I wanted to dance to this song at her wedding. When my cousin Rissa got married, all of the cousins got out on the dance floor and re-enacted the scene together. It is one of our songs. My cousin Jill loves this movie after me insisting she watch it a few years ago, she was too young the first time around.

Jenni and I 1994

Marty and I circa summer of 1994

One morning this week, I was sad after receiving some upsetting news about a friend. I shared the song with my twitter song group and said we needed to do this on a road trip someday. Then this morning, one of my favorite tweeps Nicole, said she cannot hear this song without doing the little ''Carlton'' dance .  It was time for this blog to come out and be shared!



I really don't identify with the lyrics of the song. It is all about the tune and the way it makes me feel. It takes me back to a time long ago; For me, when I hear this song, I go back to the summer of 1994, friends, college, new love and life being lived. I think of my childhood, friends and family. Of course, I really just love to bop around the room to this song being carefree and dancing, it makes me happy and cheers me up!

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Remembering Auntie P

A few weeks ago, my cousin in law Karen asked if I would write a blog about my Aunt Pat in honor of her birthday. I never thought about it and really wondered why I hadn't sooner? My Aunt Pat was one of the biggest influences in my young life and truly a wonderful role model.


Aunt Pat was my mom's aunt, her father's sister and one of the only living relatives on that side of the family. After my grandfather's death when I was five, she was the only member of his family we had left and our only link to his family. We often made trips up to Visalia to visit her and her family for different events or as a pit stop on family vacations.

Years later, I would wear the same pearls for my senior picture

Aunt Pat was born to Edwin and Ruby Davis. Ruby was full blooded Cherokee Indian and their children were raised to revere their Indian heritage. Unfortunately Edwin left Ruby and their small children  to fend for themselves. The best way for Ruby to care for the children was to give them to family members with no children. Aunt Pat went to one aunt and uncle while my grandfather went to another. It was very devastating for the family to be ripped apart. Aunt Pat and my grandfather developed a very strong bond after these events, a bond that lasted for a lifetime.

My "Kankad' his mom and sister Pat

I love how she is holding her brother's arm in this picture. She loved him so.

Later as adults, they were separated by geography when Aunt Pat moved to California with her husband Bob. After some time, my grandfather found work in California and the two families moved in together. My mom has always talked fondly of their time living with Aunt Pat and Uncle Bob. My grandparents bought a house in Whittier while Pat and Bob moved a few hundred miles away to a small town in central California, Visalia.

Aunt Pat, My Gramie, My Mom and I think Unky ( he was the uncle who raised aunt P)

As I grew up, we often went to visit Aunt Pat and her boys. As I have shared before her sons were like brothers to my mom and were a huge part of our lives. I loved going to see their family and hang out in their small town. I spent many summer months with her and her husband uncle Bob. I always dreamed of someday going to live with Aunt Pat and going to college in Visalia after I got out of high school.

My Sister and I with Aunt Pat. Loved this weekend, I danced on her fireplace with those flowers singing Gloria

Auntie ''P'' as I called her worked as a aide at Redwood high school helping with ESL students who had emigrated from another country. She touched countless lives with her gentle spirit and kindness. She was one of the best listeners I have ever met. Always she had a ready ear, good advice and kind words.

Aunt Pat and I together.

She lived in her Birkenstocks, loved hamburgers and always had candy bars hidden away. She was a Type 1 diabetic who suffered greatly from the insidious disease. She had a very tough life but you would've never known that. She was essentially orphaned, lost all of her family members before she was fifty, buried a son and dealt with  many other tough struggles in her life.

Yet, she always maintained a bright smile, a sense of humor like no other, always had a kind word and could make you feel like a thousand bucks.She was my hero, I looked up to her, revered her and loved her greatly. I even wrote an essay very similar to this blog on her during my senior year in high school, I gave it to her and she knew how I felt about her.

When I graduated high school, she gave me the pearls she wore when she graduated high school. I wore them in my senior picture and on my wedding day.

 Eventually, I made the move to Visalia with my young family to live near her. For almost a year, I got to live near  my aunt Pat and it was a dream come true. She was my rock during that time, the same time that saw her lose kidney function, end up on dialysis and lose both legs. I am so glad that I got to spend the last 12 months of her life with her and will never forget that precious time.

Conner in Aunt P's kitchen while she and I talk

Auntie P holding baby E

For years, I would often drive by her house and wish I could go in to see her. I have tried to honor her memory by loving her sons, trying to be the kind of person she was and loving God. My aunt Pat loved God and never gave up her faith even in darkness.

Auntie P was a rare gem, truly a wonderful lady. It has been 13 years since she's been gone yet she has never really felt far away at all. She lives on in my life, as I wrote this blog I could see her impact on my life in clearly defined imprints and I think you will too. Words could never bring her to life or do her justice, at least I could try to share a bit from this wonderful woman's life to inspire as she inspired me.

Aunt Pat loved all of her grandkids, great nieces and nephews!

Nana's Chicken and Noodles

We grew up with a great grandma in Pittsburg, Kansas. We called her Nana, she was a short, stout, stubborn lady who could cook anything. She wasn't overly affectionate but showed her love through her cooking.

Whenever she would come to California or we would go to Kansas, she would make two things for us. Apple cake and chicken and noodles. Nobody had the recipes for either of these things, she didn't have them written down.

I remember the night before watching her make the noodles from scratch, cutting them into thin strips and laying them out to dry on the counter. Then she would make the dish the next day.

Noodles in a chicken gravy with pieces of chicken in the sauce. Good, simple, hearty food out of the heartland.

Nana has been gone fifteen years now and she took her Chicken and noodle recipe with her. I know my Aunt makes her version that is close.

I was shopping yesterday and happened to see a bag of noodles in the freezer section. Right away, I recognized they looked just like Nana's noodles. I grabbed two bags and decided to try my hand at recreating chicken and noodle.

I made them today and they were perfect! I love these noodles. Soon I will try to make my own but for now, I am sold on these.

Nana's Chicken and Noodle

1 package Grandma's frozen  egg noodles ( or make your own from scratch http://allrecipes.com/recipe/egg-noodles/)

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 can chicken broth

kosher salt

pepper

cornstarch

cold water

In a large stock pot, put six cups of water, a handful of kosher salt and one can of chicken broth.Boil chicken until it is tender and cooked through enough to shred. Do not drain the broth. Take chicken out of the broth piece by piece and set in a colander to dry.

Shred chicken into bite pieces when cool

Take package of egg noodles and put them in the boiling broth. When noodles are cooked through, do not drain them. Use a slotted spoon to gather them out, setting them in a colander. Keep the broth in the pan

In a measuring cup, take two cups of cold water and mix with 1/2 cup of cornstarch. Add to the broth in the pan along with chicken pieces. Stir until thickened, adding pepper and salt to taste ( you may not need salt but pepper for sure) 

The consistency should be like gravy

*  if you need add cornstarch and cold water as needed if the original amount isn't thick enough.*

When mixture thickens, add noodles back into the mixture and let cook until warm.  Serve and enjoy.

Really simple, down home meal. Tasted just like Nana's! I am so proud of myself for recreating this recipe from my memory. This is the first time it has ever been written down and shared. 

Flashback Friday: The Brown Bunch Loved Mr.Duck Duck

I was sitting here this morning, trying to think "What in the world am I going to blog about today?" on day two of NaBloPoMo. Not a good sign people, I must come up with a outline tonight to save myself from failing miserably. Okay, that is over dramatic since I've never failed a NaBloPoMo in five years. Unless I end up sick, I will finish.

Okay, I will spare you the internal monologue...........

A few weeks ago after church, we were making the normal mad dash out of the church parking lot. You know the one where you wait in a line to leave said parking lot? We pulled up behind a Taurus station wagon   recently acquired by a lady named Patty. She is a wonderful lady who has adopted her great nieces and nephews. She never says "no" to a kid who wants to come to church. Anyways, I noticed something immediately that made me smile.

Two little girls sitting in a rear facing seat smiling and waving at me furiously. I waved back and attempted to get a picture of them with my camera phone. I wanted to post it to Facebook to show my Aunt Alison because I was immediately thrown back to happy days.

During the 80's and 90's my Aunt Alison owned two Ford Station wagons. We ( seven or eight little girls) would fight over who got to sit in the "back back" and view the world as we drove around Whittier.  We especially loved playing a game we called "'Mr. Duck duck" where we would see people pull up behind us and duck. Then we would peek our heads up, wave and duck again. Endlessly amusing to 6 and 7 year olds and probably to the people behind them. We loved playing "Mr. Duck duck" for many years.

During their tween and my teen years, we had outgrown "Mr.Duck duck" and were driving to Big Bear for a water skiing weekend in August 1994. We had seven kids crammed into Aunt Al's Taurus station wagon some of us laying in the back because car sickness was an issue for others. We were snaking our way up the mountain when all of the sudden on a hairpin curve......the Taurus broke down. We sat waiting in the car for help to come.

When the tow truck driver got there ( mind you I am giggling already as I type) he surveys Aunt Al and this gaggle of girls plus Andy and his mouth drops open. "Uh Ma'am, I don't have room for all of you in my tow truck."

A plan was formed, our cousin Andy would ride in the bed of another truck up the mountain while us girls rode on the back of the tow truck in the Taurus. We were so excited, you aren't supposed to ride on the back of the tow truck but we had no other option.

We start riding along, I was in the driver's seat and decided that we needed to have a songfest to pass the time up the mountain. I immediately lead the girls in a rousing rendition of the Brady Bunch theme song. Aunt Al looks back and see's our heads bobbing and swaying in time, singing at the top of our lungs. I think the tow truck driver probably regretted picking up the call!

We had the best of it, poor Andy got rained and hailed on in the back of his Dad's truck until we stopped at a mountain store and let him into our songfest car!

We made it up the mountain and had a wonderful trip together. Even today as I am writing this blog my smile is a mile wide and I am laughing so hard that tears are rolling down my face. While I was writing my cousin Andy called and I laughed with him about it some more.

Julie,Sarah,Brianne, Carrie, Rissa and Caiti F. dancing in the cabin

Funny how driving out of the parking lot of church and seeing a couple of kids in the back of a car could bring back so many fond memories. Makes a great blog too!

My Crazy Autobiographical Memory

A few weeks ago, I saw a interview with Marilu Henner of Taxi fame on television. She was talking about her super memory which allows her to recall down to the date. I have seen other interviews with another woman who has this kind of memory. The actual name is a Autobiographical memory and I believe that this is the kind of memory I have.

For years I have known my memory is different. I can recall events in my life in vivid detail starting with a memory from the crib. My mind is a Rolodex of sorts, it is categorized by year,month and event. I can flip back to a year and remember certain events. The one thing that separates me from Marilu is that I cannot always remember that date of said event sometimes it is just the year. My mind is full of events and stories that are brought up by the simplest of things. It often is a constant running film in my head.

I've always been good with names which I attribute to being from a large family. When you have 14 cousins, you have to be good with names. My family members are also good with names and often we will remember each others friends names also. We do spend a lot of time talking about past events and recalling, so we might all have a touch of this kind of memory. We all love to play trivia and watch Jeopardy! for this reason, it suits our memories.

With my memory comes another skill, I have a built in GPS. When I was about four years old, I led my parents to their car in the LA county fair parking lot. Neither of them could remember where we parked but I could. I still to this day can go somewhere once and remember how to get there forever. I rarely get lost even when I try to get lost ( a game I would play for fun with my friend Jen in high school)

In fact, the other day I was live tweeting during the final stage of the AMGEN Tour of California and sharing the useless facts that I have stored up about that part of Los Angeles. I think people thought I had looked them up but was actually just citing them off the top my head. I have lots of useless information like that floating around. I would make a fabulous tour guide.

It's not something I often talk about and really have never thought I was any different until I was older. I will often remember people after meeting them once and when they don't remember me, I just pretend to not know them either. I recently freaked Andrea out by remember a outfit she wore when I went to work with her in 1990. I can also remember the outfit that I wore that day. It's nothing unusual, I can tell you about many days and events like that.

I am a reader, I love to read books. I very rarely re-read books because I can remember almost everything that I read. It's very boring for me to re-read books since I remember them almost verbatim.

Through a recent conversation with a scientist friend of mine Beth, I decided to open up and share this on my blog. One of the reasons behind this blog is a way for me to write the events down and get them out of my head. The blog has become my autobiography of sorts and a way for me to put a memory down for good and then de-clutter the running rolodex in my head. One habit that Marilu and the other people with super memory's have is the have written down events. I never did this until I started blogging and it wasn't a intentional reason behind me starting the blog. It just sort of morphed into having that purpose.

I am very fortunate, I am able to shut the memories off and really don't live in the past. It's just a cool party trick of sorts and something I didn't realize was unusual. The purpose of this blog is to share and maybe inform you of why I don't forget things. Warning, I rarely,rarely forget things just so you know the next time you tell me something. That said, my short term memory is horrible these days. I used to never need a grocery list or to write down appointments. Now my brain is overloaded with 50 million things between myself,Marty and the kids, I forget a lot of short term things.

Just thought I would share and explain one of the reasons I often blog about things in the past. I have found it really is a great benefit for sharpening your memory. So I am improving my already good memory while blogging about some great times in my life.

A True Memorial Day Tradition

25 years ago on a warm May night in Southern California, I sat on the floor of our apartment watching t.v. on our console television. I don't remember what I was watching, it was early evening the sky was still light but I remember the little yellow words that scrolled across the screen. Across the screen of the show I was watching the words "Frigate USS Stark bombed in the Persian Gulf off the coast of Iraq" crawled slowly across the screen.

"Mom, Mom, Jimmy's ship has been bombed" I yelled into the kitchen where Mom was cooking dinner. She came out and tried to tell me I was wrong. "No Mom, I am right. Jimmy is on the Stark. I know it" she ran to the phone to call my Gramie. I was only 10 years old, 4 months shy of my 11th birthday.

Of course, Gramie confirmed that I was correct and we waited. The next day word came, Jimmy was one of 37 sailors killed on the Stark. Jimmy was actually my Mom's cousin, son of her beloved Aunt Pat in Visalia. Aunt Pat was the sister of my Kankad ( Grandad) and the only living relative we had to my Grandad who had passed away several years earlier.

We often made the trip up the 99 north to Visalia to see Aunt Pat and her boys. She had five boys whom were more like brothers to my mom. In fact, their families had lived together when my grandparents moved out from Kansas in the 50's until my grandparents bought a house. They were a close knit family and I grew up close to the boys as well. We all referred to each other as "cuz" and just loved being together.

I remember my last visit in the winter, seeing Jimmy come down the hall wearing a sweater and his trademark smile. He had served one enlistment in the Navy and re-enlisted for a second. He had told my Gramie that he was going somewhere he really didn't want to go. In fact, a letter from Jimmy arrived just days before his death for my Gramie. He never failed to remember his "Aunt Mearle" by sending her cards, letters  and gifts. It was a ceramic Stark ashtray in Gramie's living room that was in my mind when I saw the little yellow words.

Bob Kumerow and James Stevens
1987 on board the USS Stark Courtesy Karen Stevens

Seeing the face you love in the newspaper in class at school listed as one of the dead is something you never get over. Seeing your aunt receiving a flag with your mom bawling in the background splashed across the front page of another paper. Things like that never leave you as much as remembering a beautiful smile and a great laugh. He was my uncle Greg's best friend and I can say that Greg never was the same after that day. Nobody was the same ever again...death has a way of leaving that mark.

2/8/60-5/17/87 Freedom isn't free

A year later, the Veterans in Visalia decided to start hanging casket flags in the cemetary on Memorial day and having service to remember. My Aunt Pat was one of the first to donate and Jimmy's is flag number 36 right as you walk in. In 1990, she asked me to attend with her and I remember her standing when they asked the gold star mom's to stand. It was held under a green funeral awning in a grassy area, maybe 60 people in attendance. She wanted me to take a picture with by Jimmy's flag together which I didn't know would start a tradition in years to come.

Aunt Pat and Julie May 1991

In the years following, I would grow closer to Aunt Pat. She was a huge part of my life and I eventually moved to be close to her. I got to spend two years living in the same town as her and enjoyed that special time together.

She passed away in 2001. I continue the tradition of going to the cemetery each memorial day for the service. It was grown to nearly a thousand in attendance with almost two thousand flags lining the streets of the cemetery. It is truly one of the most beautiful, moving sights to behold. Each year, I line my kids up in front of Jimmy's flag and make them take a picture. Next year, I hope to be able to attend the national memorial in Mayport,Florida to represent our family.

I want my kids to know that freedom comes at a cost. I want to carry on a mother's love and make sure her son isn't forgotten. To make sure that a memory lives on and the world doesn't forget. Jimmy never got to see 30, I have lived longer than he did now.  Life has gone on but the memories don't fade and I won't let that ever happen.

11-11-11 a day to reflect and remember

In the U.S. this day is Veterans Day and we remember those who served. I know so many veterans and I am so thankful for their service to our country. I know in the UK and other European countries this day is to remember those who served in WWI and WWII.

I read a moving piece this morning about WWI Veterans and how they have all passed away and now it is up to future generations to read about them and remember them. There is a movement to find pictures of them so they will have a face for this and future generations.

My grandfathers served in WWII and I always think of them on this day. I really never knew my mom's father and never was able to hear his stories from the war. My Grandpa Brownie left us wonderful pictures, letters and stories from the war. He made it real to our family.

As always, most of all today I think of Jimmy. My cousin actually my second cousin who gave his life for this country. It was a isolated incident in the Persian Gulf and easily forgotten. I have a self imposed mission of making sure he isn't forgotten. This year, my Mom gave me a collection of letters and items that were saved by my Uncle and Grandma. I asked for them after my Uncle's death since I am trying to keep his memory alive.

This letter was written May 6,1987 from Jimmy to my Gramie. It was delivered May 14,1987 three short days before Jimmy was killed. His last letter home.

Hilltop

I went to a homecoming assembly today, it was my first time going to such a thing since I was in high school. Walking back on a school campus brought back a flood of memories, seeing my friends daughters participate in the assembly brought back even more memories. During the assembly, my friend Olga was telling me about different kids her daughter Kenzy is friends with, lots of boys. Olga said, " since she doesn't date, she has lots of guy friends, you know how that goes?"

I do indeed know how that goes... I grew up in a family of mainly girls, the closest thing I had to a brother was my cousin Andy and my nephew 9 years younger than me. I liked boys, but I was never friends with boys. Somewhere between my Sophmore and Junior years, that all changed

 My friend Carrie started hanging out with Ruben, since I followed Carrie around I started hanging out with them also. Ruben hung out with a group of guys who were like a fraternity. They always had different names for their group and at one point had business cards. When I met them, they hung out at the bottom of a hill on our school campus. I remember being a bit uncomfortable at first, awkward and shy ( I know this shocks some of you.)

 When we returned to school our Junior year, we all started eating lunch together at the top of the hill. The boys had renamed themselves "Hilltop". These boys quickly became my best guy friends, something I never had before in my life. I didn't want to date them and they didn't want to date me, friendship in a pure form. It was really fun to get to know them and just have fun together.

Justin and I bonded over our love of Kevin and Bean and Saturday Night Live. We spent five days a week quoting the previous weeks episode to each other "Get a belt and cinch it" was our catch phrase. Once the two of us, who were goodie two shoes ditched school to find a member of the Kevin and Bean show. We also spent time commiserating our senior year over a particulary wicked English teacher. ( Granted, thanks to her my writing isn't completely atrocious)

Shawn and I just loved to laugh and goof off together. I just have fond memories of his smile and laugh.  I think we spent much time laughing together and just enjoying life. My fondest memories of him are of his sweet nature and big heart.

Mike taught me how to punch someone. I once hit him over some rude comment and he told me. " You hit like a girl." and promptly taught me how to punch. We later ended up working at Disneyland together and sharing that experience out of high school.

Lloyd just was a cut up. He always made me laugh. Truth be told, I spent most of my junior high years terrified of him while riding the bus to and from school. I seem to recall once having the bus held up because of a stunt he pulled. He hung out with us senior year. He was always doing something funny to make us laugh. He once stood in the middle of a fight between Ruben and I, keeping the peace. We helped each other get dates for our senior prom. My famed nickname "Uptown" Julie Brown came from him, I spent many years hearing him scream that across campus.

Ruben and I did lots together. We also shared a love for all things SNL and music. He took me to see a Pauly Shore movie once. Drove me to Hollywood when I won tickets to a movie premier for So I Married An Axe Murder. We spent many months writing each other notes on the most unusual objects we could find. He always won. He once wrote me a entire note on a cassette tape.

Rico and I, it was complicated. We were night and day. He has a dry sense of humor and I have none. He made me cry more often than not and that usually pissed him off. He told me that I cried too much and needed to not. A very intense brother/sister like bickering relationship. We clicked on a intellectual level and enjoyed finding coffee houses and writing each other poetry. We like to dream of opening a coffee house together someday.When we graduated, we walked in to the stadium together. In fact, he knows a secret about what happened to me on the way in to graduation. I think that I learned the most from this friendship.

I am truly proud to be the only girl member of this fraternity. I am the only girl who didn't date any of them and the only girl to just hang out and be friends. They all accepted my wacky,zany ways, almost being indulgent at times. If I threw a party, they all would be there everytime to support me.

 We had some wonderful times together. They truly made my high school experience fun. I am so thankful to still be friends with all of them today. It's been fun watching them become husbands and fathers, they all married very well. Their wives have all been wonderful to me and I have enjoyed getting to know them also.

I've been wanting to write this blog for a long time, my fear has been that I wouldn't do the experience justice and I don't think that I ever could. Ruben posted this a few years back, the only picture of all of us( with the exception of Lloyd) together on our beloved Hilltop.

10 years later, brings faith, hope and love

It's no secret, I have struggled with a huge complex about my birthday for the last 10 years. It actually started before 9/11/01 and that was pretty much the deal breaker for me. It started off a 10 year journey of great complexity.

My friend's daughter Maddie called me the other day and asked how 9/11 changed my life. She was writing a paper for school and was polling different people. She had no clue that was Pandora's box when she called me. Poor girl.

9/11/01 I learned the world didn't revolve around my birthday. That night Our friends Wayne,Staci, their two girls Maddie&Syd, Marty, Conner, Elizabeth, and I went out for pizza together. Staci really tried to make it nice but I was inconsolable. How could I ever celebrate again? I did have something to celebrate that day, my mom had been in the UK and postponed her flight by a day. She would have been on one of the flights that went into one of the towers if not.

After 9/11/01, my birthday became 9/11. Whenever calling insurance and other companies, there were be a pregnant pause after I was asked to recite my birthday. For a long time, it was almost as if they thought I was making it up.

For the next ten years, I would struggle to wrap my head around it and make sense of how I felt. It didn't help that a series of bad birthdays followed.

9/11/02 Staci planned a camping trip for me. It was good to get away from the TV but I was still not in a good place. I think that I made her feel badly with my bad attitude.

9/11/03 It was my first birthday without my Gramie and spent preparing for a procedure the next day. I couldn't even eat all day.

Fast forward to 9/11/06 and our four year old car broke down and was pretty much unable to be repaired. We still owed more than the repair would cost.

Then last year, the horrible call from Stanford overshadowed the whole day. Pretty much nothing anyone did those 9 years before, made a difference.

Then Marty was healed in January and started off this year the right way.  I stood at the brink of seeing my whole life crumble and God brought us through that valley. I will rejoice and be glad in all things. I finally realized to enjoy every moment of life. During our dark valley, things were so hard and everything else pales in comparison.

Then I read the book by John Ritter's widow and was touched so deeply by his words. My birthday is a celebration of life and love.

Then my dear friend Andrea told me about a series on Discovery about Ground Zero. The show was beautiful and brought me so much hope. Seeing Ground Zero be transformed back into the World Trade Center and Memorial. Life is going on, yet we pause to remember and never forget.

This last month, I purposely put a task together for myself to not let myself fall into my old pattern. The Music That Takes Me Back series was for me to keep my mind off of my birthday and my usual funk.

I was faced with putting it to practice Friday afternoon when I panicked remembering the year before. Then I remembered, life is good and all is well in the world.

Today I choose to celebrate love, joy,hope and peace. I remember those who lost their lives but remember that I still have a chance to live. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who has been given a second chance at life. I have two healthy and happy children who are extraordinary kids. I have a large group of family and friends who love and support me and my family.

Tonight, I get a chance to re-do my birthday. 10 years later, we will go to dinner the same place with our friends Staci, Wayne, and their girls now numbering 5! What a second chance all around.

I hope you are filled with love and joy today. Seize the day, spend time with family and enjoy life. We all know it can all change in a instant.

MTTMB Series: Jesus Freak

 In 1999, I moved away from my family and friends, the only life I have ever known and began a new adventure in life. Marty and I took Conner and packed up everything we had moving 300 miles away from home.

Our first friends were from our new church. They quickly became our friends and family away from home. Not only did my faith in Christ grow, I grew as a person. I had the freedom to find a new way in life and leave the past behind.

I quickly made a friend Tami who LOVED to go to concerts just like me. My first Christian concert was a huge concert at our local stadium to benefit the local rescue mission. My friends Staci and Tami talked me into volunteering so we could stay all day and see all the bands. It was my first time seeing Point of Grace, Eli, and Third Day amongst others.

My first favorite Christian band was DC Talk. We got to see them live with our friends Wayne and Staci at the Billy Graham Crusade in Fresno. It was such a great concert and one of the last times DC Talk Played together.






 One day my friend Tami called me and told me to call the local station to win tickets to a big festival coming to our town. She had already won tickets because she like me had a knack for winning tickets. I won the tickets of course and we set out for the Festival Con Dios. I will never forget that day this side of heaven. Wayne,Staci ( four months pregnant) Bob,Tami, Marty, Sam, and Greg. Everyone was there that day.

We got free tickets, lunch, snacks,cd and water. We were right up front all of us seated in a row ( Until Switchfoot came on and Marty had to rescue pregnant Staci from almost getting into a mosh pit) It was a great day, Switchfoot, SuperChick, Barlow Girl, Jeremy Camp ( before he was a big name) The OC Supertones, and the closing act the Newsboys.

I remember the husbands were done, we had been there all day but Tami really wanted to see the Newsboys. So the guys went to the car and we stayed with Tami to see her favorite Newsboy Peter, she thought he was cute.

Tami went to heaven on Valentines day 2008. On days that I miss her, I always remember that day at the Festival Con Dios. I think of us all sitting there in front of the stage on that beautiful sunny day, I remember the joy in Tami's face watching the Newsboys that night. It was a wonderful day with memories to last a lifetime.

Whenever I think of Tami, I always think of this song by Superchick and the memories of that day.



 This is the last blog in the series, its the music I still listen to and enjoy on a daily basis. Thanks for going on this journey with me and taking a stroll down memory lane. For the first time in 10 years, I haven't been sad or depressed the month before my birthday. I have actually had fun and looked forward to the day.

MTTMB Series: "Just A Girl" who loved to go to shows

1993, I was a junior in high school. By this time, my sister Carrie and I spent most of our free time going from show to show. I had a real knack for winning tickets from KROQ, we could go to virtually any show we wanted for free. I saved my hard earned babysitting money to pay for the rest of the shows. We sometimes went to shows Friday,Saturday, and Sunday nights.

Depeche Mode was by far our favorite band to see. My Dad and Grandpa once drove us 50 miles to see a Depeche Mode show. This is a video from the tour we saw them on





 This one is for my fellow DM lover Staci


   That same year, we went to see another band in concert at UCI in Irvine. We went to see the Violent Femmes but after the show for years we would only remember the opening act. That night, we saw the local Anahiem band No Doubt for the very first time. Their lead singer was the coolest girl on earth, they wore the funkiest costumes and she sang and jumped all over the place. They were a ska band and we loved Ska. That concert would end up being a really cool moment in our lives. Here is a video from the same tour



We would follow them all over Orange County. We wanted to be Gwen, the most beautiful, super cool, rocker chick. In fact, one year when I was working at Disneyland, they were the Grad Night band.

In 1995, We went to see them at the Troubador in Hollywood, super small club the ticket was ten dollars. As we walked in the door, they handed us a cassette and told us this was their upcoming release. That night, they played us the entire Tragic Kingdom album. My sister Carrie was 16 years old and when Gwen sang "Sixteen" for the first time, she was wearing a pink carnation wreath her mom made her and she sung the song to my sister Carrie. We saw them once more at the Vans Warped Tour and then they hit it big.



I think this blog leaves the biggest lump in my throat and was the hardest to write. These are probably some of my most cherished memories in life. If I had known then what the future would hold, I would have enjoyed it even more. Those were the best days of my youth and the happiest memories with my sister.

MTTMB Series: The Cure was Morrissey

I've been dedicating these blogs to people who walked along side of me during those times and beyond. This blog is for my cousin Andy who shares my love of Morrissey. He was my first blog reader and still reads to this day. We have been the best of friends since  he was born and I always look forward to his phone calls.

As I said, in 1991 I started listening to L.A.'s legendary KROQ radio. I soon forgot all about Pauly Shore and delved into all things New Wave, Goth, Punk,Ska, and the new genre Grunge. The mainstream label is Alternative these days.

1992, I was a sophmore in high school and really finding out who I was as a person. If you haven't figured this out by now, I march to the beat of my own drum. I am a non-conformist-conformist. I like to not conform while still following the rules. Meaning, I am a good girl who likes to have fun and be weird. Being like everyone else is so unappealing to me. This was something I was learning in 1992.  I was still blonde and dressed like a surfer girl. I listened to non mainstream music though.

This also began the period of my life, where I lived at shows and concerts. Sometimes seeing shows three days a week. More about that in the next blog



I will never forget spending a sunny Saturday with Christena at the Rose Bowl seeing The Cure. Robert Smith maybe be the scariest looking guy but their tunes were catchy.  My friend Aurora got me hooked on them and would let me borrow all of her cassettes. I think this is one of my favorite Cure songs from that time and no it's not Friday I'm in Love, I am not a wannabe people.

I am probably most famous for my Morrissey love during this time period. It started with a love of The Smiths and then became a love of Morrissey. I guess he appealed to my teenage angst side( In fact, I once got busted by my Aunt Patty for some of the Smiths lyrics). I remember seeing him as a 16th birthday present. I cried like a maniac of course. One of the best concerts that I have ever been to. He has a beautiful voice and is a great showman. I really am not sure what my love for Morrissey was all about but I was crazy for him. Sadly, I only ever got to see him live once, the next time I had tickets he canceled the show.




These bands were my teen years and my teen years helped shape who I am today. I really can't explain why I loved them so much but I did. It was a fun time in my life, that I fondly look back on.

Here is a great picture of me wearing a Morrissey shirt in high school:

These are the Hilltop guys, my very best guy friends in High school and the closest thing I have to a brother besides my cousin Andy. I've been planning to write about for a long time, another story for another blog. This series is winding down, trying to cram it all in before my birthday on Sunday.

MTMB Series: The Weasal

J J J is for Julie, U U U are Unique, L love you oh so truly, I watch you every week.... Those are the lyrics to the Julie Brown show on MTV ( if you click on that name you can hear the song). I grew up in the MTV generation, back when MTV played videos.

Then of course there was this Julie Brown (wubba, wubba, wubba, Goodbye and God bless) who earned me years of people calling me Downtown Julie Brown. Thank goodness my friend Lloyd decided I was too uptown to be downtown. So I am actually Uptown Julie Brown.

I started watching MTV from its inception. I guess having a sister 8 years old is the reason for that. It was always on in our house. I watched MTV faithfully until I was about 21 years old.

I am putting the inevitable off, so we are up to 9th grade in the series now. I can't really tell you about anything that takes me back more than this guy. It's mortifying to type this words out, be kind dear reader, be kind.

Before there was the Jersey Shore, there was Pauly Shore!

Pauly Shore, the comedian, skinny guy, the stony,crusty, dude with the mop on top. I have to tell you, I spent my 9th grade year obsessed with him. It pains me to say this but my faithful long time reader Lenice, would call me on the carpet for lying if I didn't admit it. She spent her 9th grade year in English class listening to me cry, yell and laugh about this guy. If my grammar and puncuation pains you, blame Pauly Shore and Mr.Roswell for indulging me.

( I used to have this poster on my wall)

I would run home from school everyday to watch his show "Totally Pauly" on MTV. Of course, I taped everyone to watch over and over again.

 That's how his show went. Pretty silly and rather dumb but I loved it.( and I never did drugs, so yes I watched these completely sober)

I once called into a radio show on KROQ ( The Poorman Show with Poorman) and cried the entire time I talked to Pauly. He and Poorman sent me a hat with his autograph on it.

My sister took me to see Pauly live at Cal State Fullerton, I hobbled on crutches to get front row. Pauly had to stop his show because I was flipping out. He came and gave me a hug and told me, I was too young for him. It was a highlight.

I used to tell all my friends I would marry Pauly Shore and name our kids Shellsonthesea Shore..etc.., If you don't know this yet, I had the best friends in high school. They adored me and coddled me, they let me get away with some zany stuff. They were the best. They even came to my " Pauly Shore Wedding Party" where we dressed up and watched episodes of Totally Pauly. If you dig hard enough on Facebook, you may find a picture of said event.

I won tickets to see a premier of Encino Man at my local theater and won all kinds of cool prizes. I went to see Son In Law with my friend Rube at the drive in. Oh, they were good times. The Pauly days were some of the funniest times in my life. I can't tell you what I was thinking but I can tell you, it was fun.

I found a video on Youtube of Pauly Shore himself explaining his show. It's a great video but he says a bad word and since this is a family blog, I can't put it on here. Definitely worth a view to hear him explain the history of the show.

Pauly Shore faded into oblivion for me and I moved on. I had to share, even if it meant admitting something I really didn't want to admit.  It was MAJ ooor and definitely something that takes me back.

MTTMB Series: "Please Don't Go Girl"

The summer between 7th and 8th grade was a defining moment in my life. One sunny summer day, I was watching MTV and the cutest boy came on the screen. Joey Mc Intyre singing "Please Don't Go Girl", I was in love.

I was finally out of the record stage, no longer owning a record player, I moved up in the world to buying cassettes from Music Plus or Sam Goody. I bought every issue of BOP and Tiger Beat, lining my walls with every picture of the New Kids that I could get my hands on. I wore a New Kids shirt to school everyday and even dressed up as them with a group of friends.

My Dad bravely took my friends Christena, Stacy, and I to see them at the Universal Amptheater. My very first concert, I was in heaven. I kept begging him to buy me a New Kids Tour Jacket to no avail.

I owned the giant button, pillowcase and a million other tchotchkes. I think this is my favorite phase of my musical history, the boy band phase. There were other greats from this time such as Tiffany, Debbie Gibson and the good looking Tommy Page.

Still, Joe held the highest place in my heart for many a year. My next phase would bring a grand departure from pop music. New Kids faded into oblivion and I faded into all things KROQ, New Wave, Punk and Grunge.

I have re-visited NKOTB fever in the last few years with their grand return. I am still trying to talk Andrea into going on the cruise with me next year. We will take Di as our chaperone. I wonder if Marty and Jeremy will go for that?

To be continued........

A/N be sure to check out my New Kids Hysteria posts

MTTMB Series:" A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You"

This blog series was inspired by a couple of conversations on Facebook with a dear childhood friend Cortney. In fact, not only is the series for my birthday but I planned the posts to center around her birthday too! I worked it so I could post this today on her birthday. A little gift, the gift of a stroll down memory lane.

Happy birthday Cortney!

Cortney and I spent a lot of time together growing up. Her mom was always willing to have me over and I loved spending time with her family. We would swim, play in their second floor family room and listen to music. Her parents turned us on to the Monkees in the summer of 85'. We spent many days listening to the "Monkees Reunion Album." and watching the TV Show. We would always sing this song and do hand motions to each other. Still to this day, we both think of each other when we hear it.




Jump forward a few years, I moved away from our hometown and only visited on the weekends. After elementary school we fell out of touch and she moved away to Oregon. I looked for her for years and finally  found her again until last summer. Last year was a pretty dark year of my life and one of the bright spots was reconnecting with Cortney. It was like finding my long lost sister. What a joy it has been to have the chance to talk with her and reconnect.

During a conversation on Facebook about songs that take you back, this song came up. I don't know about her, but this song brings me right back to 7th grade. I can remember the feeling of being that age and it just really transports me to a simpler time in life.Being in jr high, my first boyfriend and being excited to be a teenager.




 I really love today's blog. Probably my favorite of the whole series since its the basis for the whole series. I hope Cortney has a great birthday today and enjoys the stroll down memory lane as much as I did.

Music That Takes Me Back Series: I was "Head Over Heels"

When I was nine years old, just about this time of year my life was forever changed. I fell in love for the first time....with a band. Having a older sister in the house the new fad MTV was always on in the house. One day in the afternoon this song came on

 My life was forever changed. Not only did the song become my favorite song, I had my first crush on the bass player Curt Smith. I begged my parents to buy me the album and it quickly overtook Annie,Grease and the Olympic record. I played that record constantly, knew every song by heart and watched MTV obsessively to see the video. I used to carry the album with me everywhere and actually warped my first copy because I left it in the trunk.

I can be anywhere and hear any Tears For Fears song and immediately be transported back to our house in Buena Park. I can remember how it made me feel then and the songs always bring me joy. As some of you may or may not know, I spent a good chunk of my teen years going to concerts sometimes up to three days a week.

  Unfortunately, by the time I got old enough for that, Tears For Fears had broken up. I have never been able to see them live. Next month two days after my 35th birthday my dream will come true. Tears For Fears is playing near me and I get to go. Thrilled beyond belief would be a understatement. A life long dream come true. That doesn't happen many times in life and I am Head Over Heels.

 

 This album, band and a conversation inspired this series.

Music That Takes Me Back Series: " Do you believe that little girls can fly?"

 Growing up in Los Angeles area in 1983 and 1984, the air was permeated with all things Olympics. Everywhere you turned there was Olympic merchandise and events. I remember having a Olympic day at my school and singing the French National Anthem or standing on Colima to watch the Olympic torch run by.

My Parents bought me this album to celebrate the Olympics. I played this everyday as you can tell by the well worn sticker on the corner.



( My Mom brought this record to me last weekend)

I loved the Olympic fanfare and pageantry. Thanks to the recent advent of the VCR ( We had a Betamax actually) I watched the opening ceremonies and taped them. I think that tape was well played for five years or so.

This song written for the LA Olympics is still used to this day. Everytime I hear it, I go right back to the summer of 84'




During the Olympic mania KTLA channel 5 in LA played Nadia. The story of the Romanian great Nadia Comaneci. I was in love and obsessed with Nadia. My best friend Christena and I would play Nadia everyday, fighting over who was Nadia and who was Teadora? ( She always got to be Nadia because she had dark hair). Once again, thanks to the new invention of the VCR, we watched this movie everyday for YEARS.



What sweet memories of childhood, innocence, being eight years old, and summer days long gone by. I still love to watch the Olympics and still get a chill everytime I hear that song. Truth be told.........I would still love to meet Nadia one day. 

Music That Takes Me Back Series: The Endless Summer

I spent a lot of summers growing up, traveling to and from camping trips in the family car. Everytime we would head out to our destination, the Beach Boys would come on the radio. I always thought it was God. He knew to play that song as we drove off to some beach to camp.

 

  Then as we packed up to go home. Sad to be leaving the beach and driving off toward home, Sloop John B would come on the radio. Yep, God was telling us it was time to go home.

  About six years ago, I told my Dad this story. "Wasn't it funny how that always happened?" He looked me dead in the face and said, "We had the 8 track."

  All those years, I never knew. It was just Dad listening to his 8 track to and from. One of the funniest moments of my life.

Music That Takes Me Back Series: "The Sun Will Come Out"

I've carefully be picking and choosing songs, planning out this series ahead of time. Really it centers around two or three songs but I decided to make it a month and added in other songs.  I pre- determined todays blog and the blog to follow. Imagine my surprise last Sunday when my mom walked in my house with this album..... She had no clue about my blog since she doesn't read it and didn't know that I was even planning to use this as a topic. It was meant to be for me to blog about these two albums. I loved this Annie record so much, it actually has a crack in it. I thought it was long gone and never thought I would still own it. I rented this movie so many times in the 80's from my local Licorice Pizza rental store. I had a Annie doll, Annie locket and the album. My mom even took me to see the play at The Grand Hotel dinner theater back in the 80's.

Music That Takes Me Back Series: "Grease is the word"

"I got chills their multiplying and I'm losing control." A line from my very first favorite album and soundtrack. The Grease album was orginally my sister Kim's but I quickly claimed it as my own.




  I listened to this album until I didn't have a record player any longer. Sadly, it got lost and I no longer own the actual vinyl copy. It holds great memories of singing and dancing with my sisters around the house. In fact, one of the last good memories I have with my sisters is from the re-release in 1998. We went and saw the movie on the big screen for the first time together and sang every song. It's hard to pick just one song but I will have to go with the theme song. It always takes me back........
 

 A/N I am hoping to maybe get my cousins and friends together next year and go to the Hollywood Bowl sing a long. Also, my mom came by today and brought me two items that I was going to add to this series this week.It was totally unexpected and thrilling.