Happy Birthday Friend Series: Happy Birthday ''Hippie'' Melanie

As you all may know, my children have a penchant for giving my friends nicknames. Two of my friends have ''crazy'' in front of their names. My kids have taken to calling my newest sister of the heart ''hippie'' Melanie. I better take this story back to where it begins, Twitter of course....

When I was moving to Knoxville, I knew my friends Lee,Flavia and the Franklin/Burnett family. By way of one of the NKOTB fans on Twitter Lori, I was introduced to Abbie but she quickly informed me she lived on the other side of Tennessee. In one tweet she mentioned Melani and Sheree telling me they lived in Knoxville too. We quickly introduced and they shared some things about the area that I was moving to. We made plans to have lunch soon after I moved to town.

We had lunch discussing our mutual love of NKOTB, we were immediately friends from the get go. We would talk on Twitter and met for lunch a few times. One day last fall, while meeting for lunch we were discussing how we had an insurance snafu with Marty and how my schedule wasn't working out for my family. They told me that I should come apply at their employer, it would be a good fit for me and my schedule. I had heard all about the benefits of their job but didn't even know what they did! Two weeks later, I knew it was the perfect fit for me and a great career move.

Melani was there for me from day one, meeting me for lunch on my breaks and encouraging me along the way. For the past year in her corner office, we have had some great times, we have cried together, laughed together, worried together, talked about our dogs and talked about a lot of NKOTB. I think the people who work near her office wonder what we do in there?

Melani has helped me out this past year in so many ways. She has rescued me when my car broke down ( last week she drove me to work almost all week). Helped take Conner to Explorers when Marty and I were working.

Last summer when I went to a New Kids concert all by myself, Melani made sure to come check on me at every break. She and Sheree didn't want me to be alone at the show, they made sure I had company.

Melani is more than a friend, she is family to us in Tennessee. ( Sheree too)

Sometimes friendship is effortless and easy, you just click and that's the end of that. The best thing is that this summer she was able to meet some of my other SOH's in Vegas. I love that she met Lindsey, Gena and Andrea people from my life in California. How cool is that?

She and Sheree hung out with Lindsey one night in Vegas which was amazing. I love that my friends got to spend time together. Now they're friends too.

Melani has shown me selfless friendship this past year. She is a giving and loving person, I only hope to be half the friend she is to me in return. She has helped me learn the kind of friend I want to be and see selflessness in action. She has given me far more than I have given in return. Truly a blessing to our entire family.

Sometimes you move and you wonder why? I know why I ended up in Tennessee, I know why I am at the job I am at and I know my life wouldn't be the same without Melani. I thank God for her each and every day.

Happy birthday Melani, praying for a wonderful year filled with nothing but happiness. Maybe we will get to live our dream of seeing NKOTB together this year.

Happy Birthday Friend Series: Happy Birthday Anita

A few years ago, I had a private, closed Twitter account where I spent a lot of time talking to two friends. I added a few strangers but mainly just read tweets and conversed with my two friends. Conner and I had started becoming more interested in professional cycling. One morning in May 2011, Conner and I sat in our living room watching The Giro d' Italia sobbing because a rider on our favorite team was killed in a fatal crash on that mornings stage.

While our family and friends around us tolerated our strange hobby, we had nobody to talk with about it but each other. We really knew little about the sport or the community of the sport. We had attempted to make some friends in our area but nobody was friendly. So one day, Conner and I decided to create new Twitter accounts to talk about cycling. So I randomly started an account and started searching for people talking about cycling. About ten people in, I randomly followed, a lady named Anita, I followed her and she followed back. We chit chatted and she immediately tweeted me a list of who to followed.

Random is never really random. I was meant to know Anita and she introduced me to a world of wonderful people. The list of people she gave me transformed into friends and now I would say, they have become a family to our family.

Anita and I have never met. We just chatted cycling and life. Our family was planning to move to Georgia and the south. Then one day, Marty decided he wanted to move to Tennessee. Anita and her family lived in the exact area Marty had chosen to live. I immediately contacted Anita and her family, they really helped assimilate us to the area.

I finally got to meet the famous ''Divas''

We love Anita's family! Her Dad, Jeff aka ''DadBurnett''  has become a best friend and mentor to Conner, and our favorite Twitter Grandpa. Her husband Vic and his family are truly some of the kindest people I have ever met.

When we moved here, Marty was jobless. My first lunch with Anita and her mother in law Jane aka ''my southern hot momma'' she told me the county was hiring in Marty's field. Guess what? Marty got the job, he would have never known about it if Anita hadn't mentioned it.

Anita helped me through a lot of tough stuff this past summer. We don't get to see each other a whole lot even though we live in the same area. We are both busy working moms with families but I know if either of us needed each other, we would be right there.

Loved being there on the day Anita and Vic moved into their new home.

Truly can say, starting a Twitter account to follow cycling brought me some of the best friends who became a family. Thankful for all Anita has done to expand my world unitentionally or not, nothing is random or by chance. I love the way this friend came into my life and changed my world. If we're tweeps, there is probably a chance it is a ''six degrees of Anita B Franklin'' connection.

Love you Anita. Wishing you a happy birthday and a wonderful year filled with happiness and joy!

Happy Birthday Friend Series: Happy Birthday Melissa!

When this blog started in 2005, on the now defunct Myspace, I had a four loyal readers two of them were family and two of them friends. Not sure if the other three read any longer but I know Melissa is still reading this blog. She gets them in her email and sometimes will email me comments on them.

So it is only fitting after nearly ten years, ( that is right, next year Just Jules is celebrating 10 years of existence) that Mel get her own birthday blog!

Melissa was one of my first online friends back when making friends online was strange and weird. We never would tell people we made friends with someone on a message board! She was one of my first bible study students online. 

We're the same age and grew up in the 80's, we love a lot of the same things and our commonalities are many. For years, we've had our phone chats and emails where we've shard our truimphs, struggles and joys together. She was there for me when my grandparents were dying, she was actually the first phone call that I made from Stanford the first time we went there and were accepted into the transplant program. So the morning of Marty's transplant, she was the first person I called.

She is one of those friends who you know will always be there when you call. We haven't talked as much as we should in the last couple of years. Life has taken us in different directions, she has faced difficult times, quietly and bravely. 

She came out to California to visit me back in 2007. We had a fun weekend driving around LA and hanging out together.

We had a wonderful talk on the phone a few weeks ago, it had been too long. Both of us felt bad and lamented the fact we've been out of touch. I felt bad when she shared some tough words for me, sometimes when you have many friends, you can lose some in the shuffle. It's not intentional on my part, nobody is more important than anyone else. Some of you are just louder than others, Mel isn't loud she is quietly always there waiting in the wings.

She has been there through some of the weirder parts of my life, the parts that very few understand or have been through. Listening, giving advice and helping me through has been her specialty and I really couldn't have made it without her.

It's been a joy to watch her go from dreaming of children, suffering a heartbreaking loss and then becoming a mother. She is a hard working mom, who has worked hard for her career, gone to school all while raising two kids.  Melissa is the kind of friend that I look up to and am inspired  by.

Thanks for being there on this crazy journey Melissa. You will always have a special place in my life and heart. I am always just a phone call or email away when you need me and never feel like you aren't special to me.  Should we start a club 40? nah.....doesn't sound as fun as club 30 was let's just pretend we aren't heading to 40.

''The Friend Collector''

''You're a people collector'' stated my Dad, one morning over coffee at my dining room table. He was visiting from California for the holidays, I was introducing him to Tennessee and talking about some of my new friends recently acquired in Tennessee. It took a moment, thinking about his words to me, mulling them over in my head. He is right, I do happen to collect people but I like to think of them as friends.

Apparently, this has been a life long habit according to my parents something that started at an early age. It's not intentional by any means or stretch of the imagination. I meet someone, we click and boom, we're friends. Are there people I don't click with? absolutely, when it happens it throws me into a tailspin. Meeting someone that isn't a friend is rare, so rare and I always try to ''fix it'' thinking it is something that I can fix.

It's like the parable of the lost sheep, when a friend goes missing, I feel it acutely and mourn the loss. You see, people aren't just numbers to me. They aren't some wall trophy that I count as a bragging right. People are precious to me. If you're a friend, I like to know you, about your family, about your job, pets, siblings. I find everyone has a fascinating story and just as I like to share mine, I love to know your story even more. Really I enjoy hearing about others more than I enjoy hearing about my self.

My oldest friend Christena and I both are the same. We come from broken family situations that have caused us really tough circumstances emotionally. Instead of putting up walls, we opened the doors wide and allowed many people in to fill those holes in our lives. Struggling through feelings of abandoment is tough, it can truly break and ruin a person if you let it.

I once lost a friend for over twenty years, when I found her and re-connected with her, my heart was full of joy. In twenty years, I never got over the loss of that friendship nor did I close the hole in my heart where she fit in my life.  You see, we people lovers don't handle loss of a person well, it devastates us. You can replace money & things but you cannot replace a person. Believe me, I have tried and it just doesn't work that way.

Don't mistake my soft, sappy ways for weakness. There is a very tough side to me, I will not let anyone walk all over me and I most certainly am not a doormat. I have had to end friendships and relationships and I am not afraid to do that any longer. I took years of emotional abuse at the hands of a few people and finally stood up and learned how to be tough. I still love those people but they have no place in my life any longer.

Marty, Conner, E and my parents simply cannot keep up with my friends. They're always glad to meet them, get to know them and go along on meetups. My parents will help friends if they need help in their field of expertise as well as Marty. They just get confused and unsure of how I know this person? In that respect, I really can't spend a lot of time with friends.

I have to turn down a lot of invitations to go do fun things, you all outnumber my family and my family comes first. So if I tell you ''no'' its simply for that reason. I would love to go do all the fun things but my family cannot keep up with it. Someday my kids will be grown and I want to enjoy ever minute with them while I can.  Thankfully, my friends understand we come as a four pack and almost always travel together. So often, you aren't just meeting up with me, you're meeting up with my entire family.

Sometimes I am closer with some than others. When you just click with someone, you click and it is a supernatural bond that always is mind blowing. It just happens there is no method or way, it doesn't matter who the person is, when it happens it just happens. Those easy friendships that are effortless, the one's where you can just pick up where you left off after twenty years. The friend who you can call on the phone and talk to after months or years, picking right up like it was just yesterday. It just is a special kind of vibe that cannot be replicated or created, it just simple is.

I count myself as blessed, ''The Secret Life of Walter Mitty'' has nothing on the Real Life Adventures of Just Jules. The one question that is asked of me over and over is, ''How did you meet that person?'' and the answer is always the same, '' I just did. I wasn't trying and it just happened..''

I'm not trying to collect friends, not trying to be better friends with someone over someone else. In my way of believing and thinking, I have been given a gift to use and I am just using it. My gift is the ability to love on people. My super memory makes it easy to remember so many people, their families, their friends and their lives. My Rolodex for a brain makes it easy to flip through and find your place, my vault capacity is seemingly endless to keep secrets for people.

Moving to Knoxville, I came having built in friends. I was introduced to a couple more before moving who have become very good friends. One of my customers at the store Natalie and I were talking one day, I told her that I didn't move here to make friends. She asked me, '' you will be my friend though, right?'' of course! I am not out to make friends but I have made friends here and I love them all dearly. So nice to have a local support network to lean on and to go do fun things with!

IF anything, I may disappoint you because I try very hard to keep up with everyone but sometimes people fall through the cracks. I hate to hurt anyone's feelings, make them feel unimportant or forgotten but sometimes I just cannot keep up with everyone. I do my best though. It helps when friendships are a two way street and the keeping up goes both ways. There are some friends who are such wonderful friends,  they are who I look up to and strive to better myself to be more like them.

So maybe I am a friend collector. I could myself blessed, rich, grateful and humbled to know so many people in life. It is good to have one good friend, who you can always count on and I am blessed hundreds of times over in that respect. Each person is special to me and I am so thankful to call them friend.

My friend Kay sent me a quote yesterday, this is my mission in life:

"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.'' 

Mother Teresa

Blessed to know that no matter where I go in the world, I will always have a friend.

Nan

When I moved to Tennessee, I came to work for my friend Lee. His main employee Nancy was battling breast cancer and was very unwell. The intent wasn't to replace her but for me to come along and help out, they did mention they were concerned because Nan and I had very different personalities from their knowledge and they weren't sure we would get along.

From the very first moment I met her, I liked Nan. It isn't hard for me to find something in common with someone, very rarely do I not get along with someone. Nancy was an intellectual, feminist, atheist, with a strong sarcastic wit and sharp tongue. She was a perfectionist, driven, often upset at other people's ineptitude, laziness and apathy in life.The odds weren't in her favor from a young age, she lost both of her parents to cancer before she was an adult. Battling cancer and dealing with some tough personal issues, she was in a dark place, she was angry and pissed off at the circumstances she was in and she let you know it.

We quickly struck a friendship up finding commonalities in our lives. We loved the same kind of music often talking about the hey day of New wave and going to concerts as girls. She was a writer, well educated, well traveled, versed in the ways of life. She lived many years in New England buying and selling mid century modern antiques and loving all things Sci-Fi. Her ring tone was that of the Tardis landing. She loved hearing that my family (minus myself) had started watching Doctor Who, she was a big fan of the Doctor especially David Tennant.

We both were mothers with the same views on raising children and expecting a lot of them. Raising young men who we are training to respect women. Teaching them to take responsbility for their actions and lives. My last day working with her was spent with her and her son, I loved watching her with him. It was almost surprising because she was a liberal in many ways but very conservative with her son and what she expected of him. I will never forget that last day with her, Jules and Conner.

Women empowering and supporting other women was something we were both passionate about. Respecting each other instead of tearing each other down and finding a common ground instead of disrespecting our own sex by acting like children. We both were raised with similar views on this subject and talked about it daily as we worked.

I am of the belief that everyone comes into your life for a reason, a season and a purpose. I believe that one of the reasons I ended up here was to know Nan and learn from her. It was my pleasure to be able to hug her on rough days, let her cry on my shoulder when she was scared and listen to her problems. She liked that I understood catastrophic illness and did not say trite things to her. I geniunely understood what it is like to be facing the unknown and major health issues.It gave her hope to know Marty and I had survived major illness and lived to tell the tale.  Being able to support her in her trials was a blessing that I will never forget.  The days we worked together were really special albeit brief.

In the short time I knew Nan, I learned a lot from her. She became an older sister of sorts, someone I could talk to about anything and get an extremely honest opinion. She valued truth highly as do I, she would tell me exactly what she thought of something making no excuses or apologies for her opinions. She was who she was nobody was going to change that.

Sometimes someone is only in your life a brief time but leave a large footprint behind. They leave your physical presence but live on in your mind and heart forever. Very fitting today on the day of the Doctor, I said goodbye to Nan. She lost her valiant battle with breast cancer earlier this month leaving behind her young son Jules. Tonight listening to his words about his mother, her ex's husbands words and her sisters words confirmed that even though I knew her only briefly, that I did indeed know her fully.

Pray for her young son Jules, he has a long life to live without his mother.

for me, she brought a brightly colored view into my world and helped change and inspire me in many ways. Tonight I am grateful that I can say, I knew Nan and was her friend. Goodbye Nan, sleep well my friend.

Tonight at the service her family shared songs that reminded them of her. I will always think of Nan when I hear Howard Jones. She loved telling me the story of how she met him in her college days and he touched her hand when singing. She often lamented she was backstage and asked if she was with the band but her friend said they weren't and blew their cover!

I Really Don't Want to Blog Tonight or Be an Adult.........

Dragging along on my journey, the last year of NaBloPoMo for me. This month has been really tough to keep going and frankly, I am tired of blogging everyday and think everyone is tired of me blogging everyday. Challenging my brain is a good thing but add that to forty hours a week in a classroom training for my new job. My brain is fried.

I've been in training to be a customer service representative for a pharmacy benefit company. It is a complex job that has required a lot of training. I am loving it so far, no day is ever the same, great company with great benefits and lots of nice people working there. Customer service is important, which is right up my Disney training way. I am now in the phase where I go into my role full time next week under an assisted level. Bottom line, I really love the challenge and will learn a lot.

Went out to dinner with Marty and his new co-workers tonight. It was nice.

I wish that I could've gone home for my cousins shower this weekend. Really sad to be missing out on such a big event and especially for my dear Sarah, who has been there for my family. New job, no time to plan and life have prevented this.

Then I came home to read several sad bits of news about friends. I really hate to see friends hurting and struggling.  Seems like the older I get the more it happens, I didn't realize that until my friend Jessica brought that up to me tonight. She is so right. Getting older stinks, can we find a time machine to go back and be young and carefree again?

So prayers for all of my friends hurting, sad and down tonight. So grateful to have the privilege of bearing others burdens and walking alongside them during tough times.

My friend Anita said this reminded her of me. She is so right, my heart has been so heavy this year for friends struggling

Y'all are Jealous of My Auntie Em!

I have a family on Twitter.......a complete made up family of friends who've become a part of my everyday life and I love them like family. This past summer when I hit the wall, they were there to pick me up because we interact on a daily basis.

I've got sisters galore, besties, a couple of brothers, an adopted mom and dad. Then a few hundred friends on top of that!

Auntie Em is one of my favorites, she is my Tennessee neighbor and friend. She was introduced to me by the famous Anita, who is my TN tweep as well. I moved to East Tennessee with a whole Twitter family. I have my Auntie Em, Dad Burnett, Sister of the heart Anita and my southern momma Jane. I am a very lucky girl and many will attest to this fact.

Auntie Em often gives me blog ideas, heck she and her husband recently gave me a title for my book that I am writing next year! She is just awesome, she prays for me, sends me scripture, listens to me on the phone when I need her. She is like a mom, older sister and aunt all in one. She has become a mentor to me and I rely on her greatly.

She has even sent me little care packages. Came to visit me at work and hug on me!

The best is when she, Kay, Debbie and I go back and forth with Jeff ''DadBurnett'' because we end up often saying, ''y'all aint rite'' to each other!

Tonight, she and our ''little'' Dot, one of the sweetest girls on Twitter and I were going back and forth about what I should blog about. Then it hit me, I got the sweetest package( again ) from Em in the mail today and she has given me many blog topics. She is one of my biggest blog supporters and she deserves a shout out!

If y'all aint followin @IamAuntieEm on Twitter, then you're missing out on a blessing!

Truly one of my things to be thankful for this past year is Auntie Em! So it is high time she get a blog braggin on! Just another one of the many reasons to love Twitter!

A/N I wrote this in a TN accent just for her.

The story of Mr.Fitz and Jules

My phone starts whistling on Saturday afternoons, yes, it is a happy little phone. The reason it is whistling is a text message is blazing across the country from sunny San Clemente, California to crisp East Tennessee. I know who it is and what its about. It's from Fitz and its about football, its our weekly thing of the past few years. It involves good natured ribbing, mostly on his part and my attempt to learn about college football. He watches the ''whiny, overpaid babies of the NFL.'' for me and I try to keep up with the Ducks and Irish for him. Who is the man and why is he so important?

The story of Jim Fitzpatrick and I goes back to sometime around 1983. My older sister Kim was involved in the youth group of our parish St.Bruno's in Whittier, Ca. She would come home talking about the youth minister Jim, I really don't know the details other than our family started participating in events with the youth group. My very first memory of Jim was during a youth camping trip that our family tagged along on. The youth were camping on the beach and we were nestled in our trailer. It started to rain and Jim came busting in, I ended up having to share my bunk with him.

He was a young twenty something, unmarried, trying to get into the fire academy and he became buddies with my Dad. I remember Saturday mornings Jim would come running to our house during his training runs and I would make him an egg in the microwave...no butter, no seasoning, just a scrambled egg in the microwave. It was true friendship that he ate my eggs!

We just had a bond, not sure that bond can be explained outside our mutual admiration society. Since I was seven years old, he has big brother, mentor, confidant and friend. He used to call me his little ''Meggie'' when I was really young. He is really tall and I have always looked up to him and adored him.

Jim was a fixture in our house, always popping in and hanging around. He was friend to my Dad, long after he was done being youth minister and friend to me as well. One day, he brought a beautiful young girl with brown hair to our house. I remember that I was jealous, I didn't want her to marry my Fitz!

They did get married and we fell head over heels for Jim's bride Jen. She is beautiful on the inside and out with the voice of an angel. Eventually they would have children and I would become their chief babysitter. I always tell people that Chris my nephew, Kevin and Caiti Fitz were my first children. Kevin and Caiti were my babies before my babies.

We would spend every weekend together. Jim bought a boat, took Jen and I out and taught us to water ski together. Saturday morning's after my Friday night babysitting gigs, he would put me in the driver seat of his blue Nissan truck and taught me to drive stick down Stage Road, patiently teaching me through me jerking us through stops. I will never forget once Jen said to me, ''Jim never goes the same way twice, he is always finding little shortcuts here and there.'' 

As an adult, my father likes to complain about my driving. He says, '' You never go in a straight line! You always are going a different way'' I always tell him, ''Please forward all complaints to the Fitzpatrick school of driving'' ( or his sister Maggie)

Jen would curl my hair, talk to me about boys and makeup, pick me up from school on Friday's and drive me home. They paid my way through high school with my babysitting money from them!

One day Jim and Jen moved away, I got married, had a baby of my own and moved away myself. We didn't see each other often. Only at family events here and there, weddings and my grandparents funeral. Jen played for my Grandpa's funeral and helped us give a true wake in his honor. 

Though he did break my heart at my Grandmas funeral by telling Brianne, my cousin that she was his favorite of the Brown cousins. He always has maintained that is true but that I don't count in that group, I am different!

Then text messaging came along and bridged the gap. Jim took to texting me about football and it has stuck, I love our weekly tete a tete's. I always love when he texts that he is visiting my Dad and staying the night. One of the last things before I moved away was go to stay with Jim and family. He and my Dad didn't want me to move and I know why. Aside from Marty and Conner, they are the two men I love most in this world and it was going to be hard on all of us for me to move.

That last night I spent with the Fitz's was something I will remember for the rest of my life.

Mr.Fitz and I, December 2012

Thank goodness for college football and the NFL. It doesn't feel like we are far apart at all. Two weeks ago, I did get chastised for not paying attention to the scores of Jim's teams which led to me making a public apology on Instagram to Jim. He loves the social media as much as me, I need to get him a Twitter account!

To know me is to know of my love of Jim. This blog has been a long time coming, I was maybe going to write it next year for his birthday. As we were texting back and forth tonight, it only seemed right to tell you all about him. He makes me laugh, loves me and is truly one of my life long best friends. Everyone who knows me well, knows about Fitz. Even my Dad knows that he shares his friend with me!

Jim knows that I love him, I tell him often just as I know he loves me right back. I've been lucky to call him friend for over thirty years now. Never discount children, I truly maintain that friendship can withstand age gaps, when you have a bond with someone, you just do, age doesn't matter at all!

The year I met Jim. I always thought this was a picture of he and I. It is my Dad and I though, Jim was there that day though.

I love my cop husband but I love my fireman friend Fitz too. Three of the loves of my life talking to each other.

All of my babies together. My kids and the Fitz kids 2006

The best thing Jim ever did is marry beautiful Jen

Jim being Jim, dancing with my Dad on my wedding day

Jen Fitz and I, December 2012

Jen knows if she sings, '' You are my Sunshine'' that I always cry. My own private concert 2012

Kevin demonstrating the fire phone. I made many a phone call on that phone during my babysitting years

I love this picture. My Dad and Fitz, two most important men after Marty and Conner

Dancing with Kevin and Caiti on my wedding day

Caiti and I on my wedding day in the famous Princess Di pose

Jim sends me these in texts, just to make me smile and laugh

Kevin and I, 2012

Caiti and I, 2012

Happy Birthday Friend Series: Happy Birthday My Tam!

In 2002, we took our son Conner to an AWANA program at a neighborhood church.  He was four years old and loved it, taking him to that program led us to many life long friendships. He started coming home and talking about a little girl named Olivia. He had made friends with her and just loved talking about her. Finally one week, I went to pick him up and asked who the little girls parents were and that led me to my dear Tam.

Tammy is Olivia's mom, we started talking about the kids sweet little friendship and making friendly conversation each week. The same time Marty was in the police academy, her husband Matt was in a similar academy. Both these jobs were life changing for our families, very much needed, so we started praying for each other weekly.

Conner, Olivia and Elizabeth circa 2005

At the same time in 2004, we were both facing really difficult extended family situations. Tam and I, both have wonderful husband's and children. We both were struggling with different extended family issues but could understand the trial each faced. We formed a bond and we helped each other through some really difficult times over the phone. Weekly we would have hour long phone conversations talking it out and praying each other through. I truly can say, without a doubt Tammy helped me change my life and survive some really difficult times and choices.

We both made it through and God blessed both our families with answered prayers numerous times over. Both our husband's got jobs working at different agencies right next door to each other. The carpooled together, we all went to church together and we even vacationed together once. Conner adored their son Zach and Olivia, Elizabeth did too.

Conner, E and Liv at Disneyland

Family vacation Disneyland 2005

When my friends from around the world would come to visit, we would take them to meet Matt and Tam. Last summer, they made a new friend from France in my friend Fanette. They had us over for their annual fourth of July and invited her along. How amazing to have my friends meet up and not only that, now they are friends too!

The day we found out Marty was sick was an AWANA night. Matt and Tammy anxiously awaited the news with us. They went through the really dark, hard things nobody else saw. They were at the hospital when Marty would pass out and be taken by ambulance. Matt watched Marty at work, Tam talked to me for hours on end listening ad nauseam to my struggles. The day we got the call, they were the first phone call we made and they rejoiced with us. They drove up to see us at Stanford and bring us that needed piece of home. In turn, we have been through many crisises with them and a few health scares, I loved being able to have Zach and Liv come stay with me and be like a crazy aunt to them.

Oscar loves Liv

Max loves Zach

They live on a beautiful little ranch, Tammy is amazing at taking things and turning them into treasure. She has one of the most elegantly decorated homes of anyone I know. God blessed her to live in her grandparents home and make it her own. One of our many answered prayers throughout the years. They host lovely parties and bbq's for friends and family. We love going out  to their little piece of heaven and enjoying the tranquility of their home.

Together, our families have really experienced it all. Matt and Tam have been our rocks, they have seen us through better, worse, sickness and health. Truly one of the hardest choices we made in moving was leaving this family behind.  We wanted to bring them with us! We had made our own little extended family but life has taken us on different journeys and now we are apart. I know it has been so hard for Tam and right now, she hasn't been wanting to talk to me. I understand Tam and I know in time, you will want to talk again. 

Our going away bbq at Matt and Tammy's

Tam, you are my first sister of the heart. You were the one who made me realize I could have a sister outside of blood. You have been there for me through thick and thin,  I am so grateful for your love and support, I miss our weekly chats and hope we can start them again soon. No matter how far I go, I will always need you and love you. I hope you have a wonderful day, I know Matt will give you a wonderful birthday and I will have him hug you for me too. I miss you so much it hurts and know you're hurting too. We will survive like we always do. Your birthday came on a perfect day, a reminder from God that we always overcome and everything always turns out okay. We have seen it all and be blessed many times over. Have a happy birthday, I love you, Jules

MTTB: ''We're Here, We're Early and We Have No Plaid''

This morning, I was sitting on my porch listening to the cicadas, squirrels throwing nuts out of the trees and listening to Pandora. A song came on the radio that immediately transported me back to July 28, 1993. It was a warm summer day in Southern California, the sun was shining and I was spending the day at my Gramie's house. Per normal, I was listening to KROQ and heard a blip to call in for tickets to the premiere of the movie, ''So I Married an Axe Murderer'' that night in Hollywood.

I am not being cocky, I am telling you a simple truth, I only had to think about winning tickets on KROQ and could. It was a weekly thing for me to go completely free to shows and events for free. I could win tickets to anything, fast finger speed dialer! So I obtained a set of tickets but needed to figure out a way to Hollywood. Now my friend Ruben loved SNL like I did and he had a car! I called him and invited him to be my guest that night. He agreed quickly and set out to come pick me up.

 We spent every Saturday night watching the show memorizing every word. Then he, our friends Shawn, Justin, Rico and I would spend the rest of the week quoting the episodes back to each other. Cheeky Monkey's!

The SNL cast in the 90's was one of the best ever. Chris Rock, David Spade, Chris Farley, Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey amongst others. I was so excited that maybe we could see them in person together. I made a quick phone call to Ruben, ran down the street and raided my sister Carrie's closet and waited for Rube to pick me up.

We had to drive to KROQ in Glendale then head to Hollywood to the premiere. We left immediately so we could find our way. We got to KROQ, got the invite and read it voraciously. Then a line on the bottom caught our eye, ''wear plaid''.....we looked at each other, looked at what we were wearing and we were certainly not wearing plaid. Now those who know me, know I wore a plaid skirt almost everyday of my high school career in 1993. I had borrowed a light green hombre baby doll top, jean shorts and Birkenstocks from my sister that day. I was trying to look ''normal'' for my Hollywood night out.

A quick sightseeing trip around Hollywood was our first order of business

Driving through the hills to find the Hollywood sign while looking at some of my favorite homes of old Hollywood. I have a minor obsession with Los Feliz, Hollywood Hills and Beverly Hills. I think this is from years of going on jobs with my Dad and seeing those homes. I can tell you were a house is located in a papparazzi pic just by looking at it.

''We're here, We're Early and We have no Plaid''

We went to stores on Melrose and Hollywood Blvd looking for plaid. Only to realize, we were there, we were early and we had no plaid. This would become our ''inside'' joke for years to come. So we went to stand on the red carpet until we would be let in to the premiere.

When it was time, they ushered us into a theater with the entire cast of SNL plus other Hollywood types of the time. The movie was hysterical an instant cult classic and we enjoyed the experience completely. After the movie we were informed there was a party downstairs and we were invited. Here we are two 17 year old kids, invited to a Hollywood bash. We stuck out like sore thumbs as we walked into the party they handed us a poster and a cassette tape of the movie soundtrack. We skulked over to a corner table to hide out and watch. Immediately we spotted Chris Farley in a plaid suit talking to Lou Diamond Phillips. On the inside, we were squealing.

As we drove home in Rube's Buick, we listened to the soundtrack. From that day on, when I heard this song by LA's. I am immediately taken back to the summer before our senior year, a car ride to LA and rubbing elbows with Hollywood stars. Our senior year would test my friendship with Rube, we had some rough times but the best memory of that year was our night in LA together. It's a great soundtrack that I still love to listen to twenty years later. ( I told Rube that this morning on Twitter and he mentioned the number of years and I told him NOT to repeat it. What did I do? repeated it)






Rube and I still talk. He actually read my entire blog this past year and has been very supportive of my writing. He has helped me with coding at times and feedback. I love that we tweet now instead of creatively writing notes on odd objects. He once wrote me a note on a cassette tape and I wrote him a note on an orange peel.

Thanks for going back with me. I have one more song in the series and then will be moving on to inspiring, empowered women for the rest of the month. I am excited to share their stories and hopefully be a positive light for others.

The Vault

I have this funny nickname given to me by several friends, they call me ''The Vault'' because of my listening skills and super memory.  A few years ago, Elizabeth said, '' Momma, people always like to talk to you. You make them feel better.'' At the time she was eight or nine years old, it caused me to pause and think about her statement. She is right, people like to talk to me, they feel safe talking to me and I can easily lock away their secrets safely.

Being a talker, you would think that I couldn't be a good listener. The thing is,  I like talking about someone else other than myself all the time. Listening is a skill that causes me to look outside of myself and pause for a moment. It really is a skill that is important in life, far more important than talking all of the time.

Once people found out that I am the vault, they have tried to pry me open and get my secrets to spill. I am lock tight and very rarely spill. My friend said the other day, ''You're like the safety depository at the bank. Lots of little boxes in the vault.'' It is one of the benefits of my crazy memory that serves others well.

Some have asked if it gets wearing? It depends, sometimes it does get tough when someone is struggling with something really heavy. Because I am tenderhearted , I will often cry with the person and feel their pain in an empathetic way.  When my friends and family are hurting, I am hurting as well. That is who I am as a person and I really don't want to change that about myself. I think that is the way it should be!

The funny thing about me being the vault...........I rarely confide in anyone myself. This year, I started realizing that I am not one to open up and share my struggles. I am a person who bears the weight of her own burdens along with the burdens of others. I am working on confiding in others and sharing some of my own burdens instead of carrying them myself.

 I may be a crybaby, sob sister, tender heart but I am one tough mama. I've lived a lot of life starting at a very young age, I have been through stuff that many people would have crumbled under. This life experience, though I often wish it wasn't mine to share is something that makes me a better person and friend.

There have been a few occasions that I have failed at being the vault. One incident two years ago, a burden of a friend became public and caused me much heartache. I had tried to help the friend but the people who knew the burden wouldn't help then when things came to light, everyone was mad at me for not ratting out my friend. It led to me needing to end the friendship because I couldn't handle the fallout associated with it. Not something I do and still something that hurts my heart. I learned a valuable lesson in that case and there was more to it than I can share.

Thankfully those instances are few and far between. I pray for those burdens that I put in my vault, I don't just listen and file away. It is like having a giant rolodex of prayer requests and I love bearing those burdens in love. It is a privilege, a God given gift in my eyes and being able to bear someone else's burden is a precious treasure. Bearing one another's burdens is something the world needs to do more.

Proverbs17:17 A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

I heard this song as I was writing and it goes very well with my blog and thoughts on being a friend

ALE's Girls

Months drag on, as September looms closer,my birthday draws near. On my birthday, it will mark one year since I spoke with my dear tweep Just4ALE.  I am dreading the fall and the anniversaries it will bring reminding me that ALE is gone. I am one who loves deeply, a friend is a friend for life, and when they leave this life before me, that changes nothing for me. Thankfully, I am not floating along on this sea of grief alone, I have a lifeboat filled with beautiful women.  ALE's Girls were drawn together in a supernatural way that really only we understand.

 Anna-Lisa was a beautiful woman who I had come to know from reading her stories, then meeting on Twitter which graduated to exchanging emails. When she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, she started emailing a select group of her Twitter followers and friends. For me, I didn't know any of her other Twitter friends except for one, I didn't know the rest of the group and really couldn't talk to anyone.

The day ALE found her ''soft place to land'', ( this is a poem and term she clung to while battling cancer, something that gave her hope and her wish for the future)  I was a wreck, I didn't know who to turn to or talk to. The one friend I did know, Perry was really struggling with her own grief. Having tweeted with ALE for some time, I knew her close friends on Twitter's handles, so I started tweeting them randomly. I felt so alone, floating along in a sea of grief, drowning in something that nobody else around me understood.

These wonderful women, started tweeting me back. Her dear Twitter friend 1Lavishone was a rock, she took ALE's followers under her wing in her own time of grief. She was my rock in those very early days and started bringing all of ALE's girls together. Somehow, a group of women formed, a life boat in a raging sea of grief.

For me, I feel that ALE herself orchestrated this group. It was her friendship, spirit and personality that drew us together. Those first tenuous days of grief, we started picking up members one by one. There were lengthy DM sessions, sharing our memories and feelings. We all loved this dear women, who made us each feel special and one of a kind. An amazing women had built herself a network of amazing friends and left behind a grief support group like no other.

My tweeps grew tired of hearing about my grief, at one point I even lost a follower over it. One friend told me I did kind of drag it out. They didn't know this wonderful women, they wouldn't understand the gravity of losing a friend to cancer at a young age.  I don't fault them, they just didn't know her and it really didn't matter to them.

Thankfully, ALE's girls formed and have stuck together. I love that when I hear a song that reminds me of ALE, I can tweet the girls and mention it. This past week, one of ALE's dear follower Lipca tweeted 1Lavishone that hearing about Comic Con reminded her of ALE. I jumped in and was able to share how I felt the same way. We all miss seeing Twitpics of food, her dogs Maya and Riley, her take on the Twilight fandom, watching her play TwiFicTuesday, her calling us ''cutie'', and her love of classic Rock. We can share the little nuances of grief, things about ALE that we miss and grieve. In our own way, we are still keeping her on Twitter with us.

This morning, I woke up to a group tweet sharing the love of being ALE's girls. 1Lavishone said, ''I want to keep us all together forever.'' I know we will be, we have become each others ''soft place to land'' a safe place to share our feelings safely and freely. We don't judge the weird way our grief affects us, we understand in a way others wouldn't. For me, I am so thankful that I haven't had to navigate this alone and have had several shoulders to lean on.

It has been wonderful to make new friends. I was able to meet up with 1Lavishone and PerryMaxed to eat breakfast at ALE's favorite place, and celebrate her friendship together. One of our members even made necklaces for us to wear. I often wear my leather strand with peace,love and music represented, those were ALE's twitter avatar and saying. It is such a comfort to all of us that wear them proudly.

Me with my ALE necklace

I am so thankful for these women, I have come to love them all dearly and now they have become friends as well. They are my lifeboat in the sea of lonely grief and I hope that I am part of their's as well. Thank you ladies for being wonderful and allowing me to be a part of your group. Not one of you turned your nose up to a stranger, instead everyone took everyone else in and accepted them immediately. It is an amazing thing to share in and be part of. I know we are honoring our amazing friend and somewhere in her soft place, she is smiling brightly.

Much love to 1Lavishone our beautiful leader, PerryMaxed, MooSpot, Lipca, Mostlyalurker, Dreamweaver, and Milk402. You've all become very dear to me and I am so grateful to be a part of this group. We didn't have a choice in losing our friend to the effing cancer, as ever with her giving spirit in the end our beautiful ALE gave us a lasting gift, seven new friendships none of us expected. Like 1Lavishone said today, ''It gives me such a warm feeling to think of her and all of us.'' that is exactly how we all feel. What a wonderful blessing, I hope someday that we call all meetup in one place at the same time. What a dream come true that would be.

 Thank you ALE for the last precious gift, we all miss you so much and always will. You may have gone too soon but you are still a part of Twitter with this precious group of friends.

Happy Birthday Friend Series: Our Crazy Rachel

The summer of 1991, I begrudgingly marched into a classroom at Buena Park High School to re-take Algebra 1. It was summer, I should've been swimming in the pool but instead I was sitting in a classroom. Twenty years later, I tell you  "Thank goodness I failed math!"

That fateful summer, I met one of my life long friends Rachel.

Summer after summer for three years straight, Rachel and I took summer school math together and forged a life long friendship. In high school, we weren't particularly close. We had many friends in common, shared the love of the color purple, loving to talk and being rather boisterous.  Other than summer school math, we didn't spend much time together outside of school. After high school, we lost touch and remained out of touch for over ten years.

During the advent of Myspace, we reconnected online. It was during this time that Rachel's high school BFF Lori died of lung cancer. Her sudden death prompted a very heartbreaking time for Rachel and many other of our classmates. It was during this time our true bond was forged.

Rachel like myself is a night owl, many nights after Marty went to work at 10 pm, she and I would get on the phone and talk until one or two in the morning. It's no secret, Rachel and I both LOVE to talk  and never run out of things to talk about!

After a few months, Rachel surprised me by stopping by my house to visit. She was driving through my area and wanted to visit. It was the first of many, many visits and it was on that visit we discovered that Elizabeth and Rachel are birthday buddies.

Rachel's first visit 09' ( Conner was 11, E was 9)

During the darkest times of my life when Marty was sick, it was Rachel who helped keep me going by coming to visit. She was that little piece of home when I couldn't go home and see my family and friends. She kept our family cheered up along with my cousin Sarah who also visited often during that time.

Birthday Month number 1

We stink at math

Rachel and E's birthday 2010

Visiting Facebook in Palo Alto

Our self made fascinators for the Royal Wedding

Somewhere along the way, during a car ride with Rachel my kids started calling her "Crazy Rachel" because she loves to sing in her purple car "Bianca" while honking and waving at people. They loved going places in the car with her. She is another step in "aunt"' to my kids and they love her dearly.

When Marty was transplanted, it was Rachel who drove my Dad and the kids over 8 hours to see us one weekend. I cry just thinking about it, she didn't have to do that but yet she did. How did I get so lucky to have such a wonderful friend? Even my Dad loves ''crazy'' Rachel.

When the Royal wedding came along, Rachel drove up to spend the night with me and watch the festivities together. We even made our own fascinators!

This year, it just seems weird not having seen her this birthday month. Yes, you read that right ''month'' Rachel has taught Elizabeth that their birthday is a month, not a day. She celebrates the entire month with friends, events and activities. Many years, we had a birthday celebration for the two of them and this year we are missing out.

Rachel went back to school, got her degree and found happiness in the last couple of years. We spent many,many years praying over so many things together. So wonderful to see those prayers be answered in unexpected ways.

Rachel, you've shown me so much with your friendship. When we talk, it feels like we're still those two girls sitting in math class together. It's like life has never skipped a beat, we haven't grown older and we are just the same. Thank you for not only loving me but loving my entire family. You truly are a fourth member of the T family. We love you so much and miss you terribly. Your happiness makes us so happy, we can't wait for you to come visit us in TN!

The Floater

The floater floats around the room, talking to everyone gleaning little bits of conversation from here and there. Floaters notice the person in the corner, instead of walking past, the floater approaches them with confidence and ease. I am the floater.

I think it is safe to say, that I march to the beat of my own drum. When I titled my blog ''Just Jules", I meant every meaning of the saying. I am just me with no inclinations to conform to any patterns of this world, I just want to be the best me possible instead. Here's the thing, I know that I am different but I like being different!

Truthfully, it wasn't until I slammed into the adult world in my 20's that I started to realize that I was different. Socially I have tons of friends ( too many if you ask those closest to me, they have given up trying to keep up) and never thought that socially I was different.

It wasn't until I was in a small setting that I realized.........I don't like groups of friends. I am fine if you're in a group of friends, I just don't like the trying to fit into the group part. I am more happy to watch groups of friends do their thing but will never push to be a part of the group.  Once in my twenties, I tried to worm my way into a group of friends with disastrous results. Actually, I think the results aside from the bad parts were good for me. I then realized, I like being the floater.

As I started to talk with my high school friends as adults, I realized that I knew far more people than others. It was then that I realized the benefits of my floating ways, I get to know more people outside the scope of a circle and broaden my horizons. Maybe at one point, I was on the outside wall but instead decided that floating around worked better than standing around?

It's not always easy being the floater, sometimes I struggle with it. Especially when I see groups planning fun gatherings or meet ups. I am never one to invite myself and would rather miss out than doing so. We always have something to work on as humans and this is one thing I should work on. I always feel like a pest or beggar when I do, I really have no desire to be either of those.

Floating has brought me much happiness, many gems have come from dancing around the room unaware of the groups within. I meet so many wonderful people that way, talking, listening and sometimes scaling the walls of people who are socially uncomfortable. I prefer one on one conversation, I don't like having to talk over others. One of my acquaintences always tells me, " you're deep water'' and that is the truth. I prefer the heavy duty conversations. My odd sense of humor isn't the norm and is often lost on others, so I prefer to stay deep, I like deep and know it well.

 I truly doubt, that I will ever give up my floater ways and conform. I like being the floater even though, sometimes its hard. Really, I like doing my own thing which is often doing things with Marty and the kids instead of trying to do things with others. That's another blog for another day......

If you want to find me, I will be the one flitting and floating around. I am always easy to find!

When a Friend is Meant to Be: Happy Birthday LL Fancy

Sometimes in your life, you just meet someone and immediately click. You don't know what the connection is or how it happened? it just happened. One year ago next month, I met a fabulous woman named Lindsey in the most random of way. Then months later realized, it wasn't so random at all. Sometimes a friend is just meant to be.


A year ago next month, my dear friend and chief sister of the heart asked me to come watch her run a marathon. It was a day that forever changed both of our lives in a major way and we didn't know it at the time. That day we met some ladies who asked a simple question, a question that led us to some wonderful ladies.

On Twitter two ladies invited my friend and I to be their guests at a special NKOTB event. We met two strangers and had the time of our lives. Lindsey and I met our tween hearthrob together for the very first time and cried tears of joy together. That first night, I sat with Lindsey and our friends in a hotel lobby and it was instant connection over a cup of tea.

A few phone chats and a couple of months later, Lindsey and her husband Rob met up with my family and I for dinner. It was such a wonderful moment and so special to our family that they took the time to see us. 

Then we went to Hershey,Pa for a girls weekend that was truly one of the craziest times of my life. It was my first time doing such a thing and I couldn't have asked for better friends to do it with. Lindsey and I had so much fun that weekend and it is where she gained her nickname. Lindsey is English and always says, ''fancy'' when she does or doesn't want something. I kept asking her if she wanted something while eating and she kept saying, '' I don't fancy that.'' I will just leave the first L explanation at that is stands for ''Licking'' and the other L is for Lindsey. She became LL Fancy forever that weekend. I always have to nickname my friends and she now is stuck with that moniker.

We finally got our first picture with Joey Mac together. Truly a dream come true for both of us and it came true together. So special and exciting.

One of the most special moments of my life happened in a Cracker Barrell in PA. As Lindsey was leaving to catch her flight, she layed her head on my shoulder while hugging me fiercely and bawled. It was a moment that I will never forget. A moment of unspoken words and understanding that immediately bonded us as sisters. 

A few months later, she and her husband Rob came to spend the weekend with my family. They wanted to see us before we left for Tennessee. They put up with my crazy dogs, kids, half packed house, snowman dishes and crazy work schedules.  We went and explored the Sequoias together, ate dinner and shared many laughs. I love the way she and her husband are with my kids. 

Sometimes you just meet someone and click. It is unexplainable to anyone on the outside and sometimes even you don't understand it yourself. In one moment Lindsey became a sister to me, an aunt to my kids and family. I truly feel undeserving of such a wonderful friend and feel like I could hardly be half the friend she is to me. She cries with me, something she rarely does on her own, she laughs with me, she listens to me and she loves my kids. 

So thankful to have met you LL, you bring so much to my life. I truly am so thankful for your friendship and friendship to my family. It is hard to believe I've know you less than a year. Wishing you a happy birthday today, hoping today blesses you as much as you bless others.