Wisdom Wednesday

Be Kind

Love others more than you love yourself

Bring joy to someone everyday

Smile,its easy to do and you will often get one in return.

Listen more than you do talk 

Being encouraging is so much easier than being discouraging and feels better.

Be happy its contagious

Being honest is easier than lying

Above all be true to yourself and be the kind of friend you would like in return. It doesn't always come back to you but when it does, it feels amazing.

I love others, sometimes far more than I love myself. It is hard for me when others don't love me in return. I just think everyone should get along with everyone else. Unfortunately the world doesn't work that way. This year, I've learned you cannot control others reactions and you cannot make somebody like you even if you're nice to them. Some people just don't like nice.

Now I have learned nice has a limit. Sadly, I learned this lesson from my own siblings, I was nice until it was a detriment to my own sanity. Though nice, soft and fairly easy going, I have a limits and boundaries. No longer am I the doormat that I once was and definitely will not be pushed around. 

I've lived a hard enough life to be tough as nails under my soft demeanor. I was also raised to love myself, respect myself and take care of myself. As much as I love people, I am suprisingly self sufficient and independent.

Basically, you don't have to like my happy go lucky Pollyanna ways, I won't be happy that you don't like me but in the end, its your loss not mine.

One of my personal goals is to work on not caring what others think about me by the time I am forty. Working on it everyday and making slow but sure progress. I care about others and when someone doesn't care back, it hurts me. I love having a heart that is soft and cares for others but it can be a thorn in the flesh as well. Definitely my achilles heal at times.

Today was a long busy day at work and home. This is just what came out of my jumbled thoughts tonight.

"It's not about me."

Phillipians 2:1-4 "Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion,make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

  I have been meditating on this verse lately. Thinking a lot about how as a society these days, we tend to become self absorbed. We tend to think more about ourselves and our problems, than we do others and what they are facing. Problems are problems, most of the time they are not different. Sometimes they are self caused problems, things brought on by making wrong choices or poor decisions. But, sometimes they are just problems you have no control over and you didn't choose for yourself.

  I have had both kinds of problems. Living in the latter, a problem that we didn't choose for ourselves, it is different. But, something I have learned is there is always someone else who has a worse problem or situation.


 I have also learned that, it helps to not become self absorbed and focus on yourself. I get comments from friends all the time. They don't want to burden me with their problems or share things with me because they feel I have enough of my own. I actually like to pray for others and hear from my friends. I like to know what is going on in others lives, I don't like self absorbed people and don't want to be one myself. It hurts others when you only focus on yourself. I know, I have done that and it doesn't feel good. Facebook and other social networking sites seem to promote this in our society. "What is on your mind?" instead of what is everyone else doing.

  I am trying a one woman battle to combat this, I won't be a contributor to this. I got a email from someone this morning, thanking me for thinking of them when I have so much going on. It's not out of duty that I do it, I do it because I really enjoy caring for others and being a good friend. I am blessed to have many friends and family members in life and I try to be a good friend back. It is hard and I fail many times, but it takes a concious effort. I have been on the recieving end of someone being self absorbed and it doesn't feel nice at all. I never want to be that person.

 It's all about balance and trying, making the effort and gesture. Is there someone in your life, that you can reach out to today?