MTTMB Series: The House That Built Me

The Music that Takes Me Back Series started as a way to work through my PTSD surrounding my birthday. This year, I found myself not needing to write as many of these and actually finally at peace about my birthday. For the first time since 9/11/01, I looked forward to my birthday once again.

Today is the day, I choose to affirm life, embrace life and celebrate life. As a person who lives to serve others, this is the day that my tank gets filled back up with love from others. Spurs me on to give what I receive.

The last blog in the series has been brewing for awhile but haven't had time to post it.

The House that Built Me
By Miranda Lambert




Today is the day, I wish that I could walk in this door, call out to Grandma and Gramps, walk around the corner to see them sitting at their little table in the kitchen. Then we could move to the big table so more people could come sit and chat.

A house built around love, friends and family. A tiny 3 bedroom track home that had one bathroom shared at times by over twenty people! A house that raised five children, fourteen grandchildren and three great grandchildren before it was sold.

A house that on Friday nights ten little girls laid on the floor watching TGIF eating Little Ceasar's pizza, falling asleep on pallets made of afghans while listening to the ticking of the Regulator clock. Waking up on Saturday morning, where Grandma would let us walk to the store to buy breakfast and we could buy junk, which she indulged us in. 

A house that held wedding parties, anniversary parties, bridal showers, baby showers,holidays and countless birthday parties all around a large oval table in the dining room. '' Around the table memories are made'' is a sign hanging in my house. It is so I can remember all the memories made around this table.

A house with a big pool in the backyard where little girls and boys played Mc Donald's drive thru in the spa. Where friends came and gathered around the patio while we opened birthday presents at summer birthday parties.

A bed were all the babies took naps surrounded by pillows in Grandma's room or where we went to lay with her as she watched tv in the afternoons. A bed that I now sleep in every night.

Two large custom built picnic tables that seated
the entire family during summer dinners, Thanksgivings and for parents to sit and watch the kids in the pool. It was a house teeming with life,family and love. Friends were always welcome, just walk in the door and say hello.







A house that we said goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa eight weeks apart and later that year said goodbye to the house itself. Can an inanimate object be grieved, absolutely it can. We all drive by and wish we could go in and sit for a spell. The House that Built Me








A block down, a house with the same layout, that raised a small family of three kids. The house I stayed in Monday thru Friday. Where I ate breakfast at a small table in the kitchen in naugahyde bucket chairs. Where I slept curled up in my Gramie's back after my Kankad died, running my feet across cool sheets. The house I spent sick days from school in and learned to roller skate in the front driveway. A sidewalk I rode my bike up and down endlessly. A house that I can still call home, that I can still walk into and see my little brass soldier and ballerina sitting in the window above the sink.

A house that saw much grief and sadness, death and turmoil. A house where on the front porch one of the worst moments of my life happened.

A house with a beautiful, prize rose garden lined the front walk overflowing in the summer months. The back yard with its large orange tree with oranges falling to the ground. The first address and phone number I knew by heart.


The home I still can go to and walk into the past. Another house that built me.

If you come to stay with us, you will experience the effects of those homes. How I keep house, How I host guests, the welcoming nature of opening your doors to friends.

 Thankful for the homes the built me.

MTTB Series: That Goody Two Shoes, Sandra Dee

It's time for another edition of the ''Music that Takes Me Back Series'' which somehow inexplicably became "'MTTB'' somewhere along the line....who knows? Not me.

One of my favorite 80's songs is ''Goody Two Shoes'' by Adam and the Ants. It's always a song that has been a theme song of mine. I admit it...I am a goody two shoes. This song also reminds me of my friend Valerie, she loves Adam and is a huge fan.





Once I asked a friend about high school parties and why I never knew about them, she told me, ''Julie we all knew you were a goody two shoes and didn't do that stuff''

I've been called ''naive'', a ''Pollyanna'' and a goody two shoes for years. I don't consider myself those things but I guess that I am.  I guess that you could say I truly am a Gidget, Sandra Dee, Tammy with an edge






I really did try smoking in a Denny's on a bet with friends once and I ended up getting sick and crying while choking in front of my friends.

I just am a rule follower, who likes to be fully in control of my faculties at all times. Growing up with a sister who was out of control, I just preferred to be overly well behaved because I wanted to be nothing like her.

Guess that does make me a goody, two shoes, Sandra Dee ( who was an alcholic in real life that struggled with addiction, go figure) who is fine that label.

Love these songs, they always take me back to my youth.

The End of the Endless Summer

It's August 1st, it has been a long hiatus from blogging as I have started my new career path here in Tennessee. My plans to write my book while on my break have been waylaid by life being overwhelmingly busy with the processes of starting again here in Tennessee. Traditionally August is about music, blogging and celebrating life so I decided time to write again about our life and the happenings here in Vol country.


Sometimes we hide what is going on instead of being honest with others outside our inner circle. I have found being truthfully honest as an open book works better. People come to you, they share with you willingly because you can understand life isn't easy all the time.

This summer I have put in over 200 hrs at work, this has been a huge blessing and really kind of exciting for me. For seven wonderful years, I was a stay at home mom whose husband worked 80 plus hours a week supporting me and the kids as he faced major health issues. There were times he barely made it to work, passing out and being rushed to the hospital with blood pressures over 200/100 while waiting for his transplant.

I was raised in a family of working women, I watched my grandma take her nap on the floor each day during One Life To Live, fix her hair and go off to work the swing shift. My aunts Maggie, Patty and Jeanette all went to work and worked hard for their families. My mom has worked since I was fairly young, first as a pre-school teacher and then in her current role for the last 27 years. My grandpa's worked, and my Dad is the hardest worker anyone knows even technically working on his days off to help others. I was raised to be a hard worker, I know no other way. I never dreamed about being a stay at home mom until I had two kids and they needed me. I always knew, it was for me to work.

Marty and I moved to Tennessee for many reasons, we felt called here and without a doubt it was for me to have the current job I have. It is the perfect fit for me, helping others who are in a role that I have spent years in myself. I am really good at what I do daily and this is the job for me.

Marty has a job where he is off for the summer with no pay. So my job this summer was to work as much overtime as possible to try to fill in the gap. Moving took our entire savings until he got a job and we have been slowly re-building this past year. Marty looked for a summer job but in the south, things don't move quickly and his summer job started this week.....he goes back to school on Monday!

Marty has a lot of faith in God's provision and it has been truly amazing for all of us to see God working it out. We have made it through and our bills have been paid, we have eaten and still lived fairly normally with a few small edits to the normal budget ie. no vacations or grand eating out adventures, no shopping for non necessities etc.

Why am I sharing what most people hide? because sometimes people need to hear the real truths in peoples lives. Sometimes they need to know they aren't alone in struggling. I had a wise young man tell me,'' when people see the ''perfect'' family they aren't seeing the whole picture.''

Summer was so fun, my mom, aunt, uncle  came to visit. We went to Dollywood, traveled to see some of our Cherokee history and just enjoyed being a family together. It was so nice to see my aunt and uncle, who I hadn't seen in a few years. It was nice to have my mom here and see family.

We also traveled to my cousin Ben's wedding,  he married a beautiful girl brought a new member into our big family. It was so nice to share in their day, it was very emotional, I cried numerous times. Ben and I danced together crying wishing our grandparents could be there too. I love my uncle's family and being with people who I look like is nice.

Then July, the Tour de France, my favorite event of the summer. It was tough because I worked and couldn't really watch the race. Thankfully my friend Dot drove seven hours to spend the weekend with me watching the finale of the race. Even though I missed a lot of racing, I think this tour will be memorable to me forever because of some really special reasons that have to do with the people of the cycling community in general.

Now August is coming, Marty is heading back to school and life is returning to normal. The kids will both be in high school this year and we have a lot of work to focus on with that. Conner has two jobs, Elizabeth is baking up a storm and making new friends.

One thing this summer, we have been grateful for those friends who have supported us in prayer as we trusted God. So many were there for us, lifting us up and making the effort. As we make new friends in Tennessee, Elizabeth and I have been learning to look forward instead of looking back. Sometimes we get disappointed things aren't the same with the friends we left but then we remember life is moving forward not back. We are thankful for those who make the effort to come visit, to check in and listen to us.

We have enjoyed the beautiful summer weather, lots of really good family time, laughter, happiness and joy. One of the things that happened was Debbie, our donor Jerry's mom sent us a video of Jerry's life and bracelets. I look at my wrist with Jerry's name on it every day, I realize how good our life is because of their gift and how Marty not getting paid is NOTHING compared to where we came from. We are blessed and grateful for our life now, we are really loving our new jobs and life in Tennessee.

As tradition, August is the month I do my ''Music that Takes Me Back'' series.  Summer is always about the Beach Boys. So I will share something Marty has said to me all summer:





PSI have been working on memorizing Matthew 6 this summer:

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

MTTMB Series: ''La la la Tonight''

We all know the story by now, in the summer of 1989 I fell in love with a blue eyed boy from Boston and the group he was in NKOTB. I spent hours talking about them, my room was covered floor to ceiling with pictures from BOP. My Dad took me to see my first concert that winter and I cried the whole time especially when Joe sang, '' I'll Be There''. I fought over him with my cousin Rissa and friend Christena. I bought their first album and any other that came out. It was heaven!

Halloween, I dressed up like Joe with my friends dressing up as their favorite New Kid. I even took a BOP picture of Joe on my 8th grade Washington D.C. trip! I wore a New Kids shirt everyday my 8th grade year only to be mercilessly made fun of but I could've cared less. I was a girl in love......

Fighting a boy to not steal my Joe picture!

NERD!

When their second album came out, I was already in high school and slowly moving on. I still went to see the Magic Summer Tour with my friend Jackie and Kelli at Dodgers Stadium. Somewhere there are pictures of that...Jackie? Kelli? I know one of us has them. Anyways, I was in high school and didn't wear the shirts much anymore. I was never really a pop music fan anyways and slowly moved back to my roots of New Wave and Alternative.

Fast forward to 2008 and the triumphant return of NKOTB. Giddy tweeting back and forth with my best friend Andrea about the return. Sadly facing the fact I may never see them again or so it seemed. Then as we all know last year that all changed. I got to meet NKOTB not just once but twice! I got to see them in concert now three times.

Each time was so special. The one thing I love is the song, '' Tonight'' originally released on the Step by Step Album in 1990. It was a song to their fans about the past few years of touring and their relationship with fans. At the time, it was a hit and was a great song even then. But for me and I think many other fans, the song means so much more as a 30 something woman. How prophetic were those lyrics? a song written in 1990 would mean so much more in 2013. A lot of life was lived by them and their fans, the relationship became so much more for so many.

I have met some wonderful fans who've had the most amazing experiences. I have made wonderful friends all around the world. I have come to respect these five men from Boston, who love their fans like no other band I have ever loved ( well Curt Smith from Tears for Fears is the exception, he is wonderful to us Kooks) They really go the extra mile for fans and sacrifice so much of their family life.

When I first heard them sing this song again at the Mixtape Festival, I got the chills and cried. ''Remember when we said, ''Girl Please Don't Go'' and how I'd be ''Loving You Foreeeeever'' taught ya about ''Hangin Tough'' as long as you've got ''The Right Stuff''



The lyrics incorporating their old song titles and talking about remembering when? now as an adult it takes me back to junior high and the wonderful memories. As a young girl, I could've never imagined being friends with other fans and traveling all over the country to see the band. I met them in California for the first time but have only seen them in concert in Pennsylvania and Georgia.

I would say  not only does this song mean more to me now than ever but this band means more to me than ever. It has become so much more than just a girl loving five bad boys from Boston. It has become about friendship and love with a group of amazing women. This is for all my Blockhead sisters around the world. It's been 25 years and I don't see a thing ever changing for me. I am a Blockhead for life.

MTTB: ''We're Here, We're Early and We Have No Plaid''

This morning, I was sitting on my porch listening to the cicadas, squirrels throwing nuts out of the trees and listening to Pandora. A song came on the radio that immediately transported me back to July 28, 1993. It was a warm summer day in Southern California, the sun was shining and I was spending the day at my Gramie's house. Per normal, I was listening to KROQ and heard a blip to call in for tickets to the premiere of the movie, ''So I Married an Axe Murderer'' that night in Hollywood.

I am not being cocky, I am telling you a simple truth, I only had to think about winning tickets on KROQ and could. It was a weekly thing for me to go completely free to shows and events for free. I could win tickets to anything, fast finger speed dialer! So I obtained a set of tickets but needed to figure out a way to Hollywood. Now my friend Ruben loved SNL like I did and he had a car! I called him and invited him to be my guest that night. He agreed quickly and set out to come pick me up.

 We spent every Saturday night watching the show memorizing every word. Then he, our friends Shawn, Justin, Rico and I would spend the rest of the week quoting the episodes back to each other. Cheeky Monkey's!

The SNL cast in the 90's was one of the best ever. Chris Rock, David Spade, Chris Farley, Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey amongst others. I was so excited that maybe we could see them in person together. I made a quick phone call to Ruben, ran down the street and raided my sister Carrie's closet and waited for Rube to pick me up.

We had to drive to KROQ in Glendale then head to Hollywood to the premiere. We left immediately so we could find our way. We got to KROQ, got the invite and read it voraciously. Then a line on the bottom caught our eye, ''wear plaid''.....we looked at each other, looked at what we were wearing and we were certainly not wearing plaid. Now those who know me, know I wore a plaid skirt almost everyday of my high school career in 1993. I had borrowed a light green hombre baby doll top, jean shorts and Birkenstocks from my sister that day. I was trying to look ''normal'' for my Hollywood night out.

A quick sightseeing trip around Hollywood was our first order of business

Driving through the hills to find the Hollywood sign while looking at some of my favorite homes of old Hollywood. I have a minor obsession with Los Feliz, Hollywood Hills and Beverly Hills. I think this is from years of going on jobs with my Dad and seeing those homes. I can tell you were a house is located in a papparazzi pic just by looking at it.

''We're here, We're Early and We have no Plaid''

We went to stores on Melrose and Hollywood Blvd looking for plaid. Only to realize, we were there, we were early and we had no plaid. This would become our ''inside'' joke for years to come. So we went to stand on the red carpet until we would be let in to the premiere.

When it was time, they ushered us into a theater with the entire cast of SNL plus other Hollywood types of the time. The movie was hysterical an instant cult classic and we enjoyed the experience completely. After the movie we were informed there was a party downstairs and we were invited. Here we are two 17 year old kids, invited to a Hollywood bash. We stuck out like sore thumbs as we walked into the party they handed us a poster and a cassette tape of the movie soundtrack. We skulked over to a corner table to hide out and watch. Immediately we spotted Chris Farley in a plaid suit talking to Lou Diamond Phillips. On the inside, we were squealing.

As we drove home in Rube's Buick, we listened to the soundtrack. From that day on, when I heard this song by LA's. I am immediately taken back to the summer before our senior year, a car ride to LA and rubbing elbows with Hollywood stars. Our senior year would test my friendship with Rube, we had some rough times but the best memory of that year was our night in LA together. It's a great soundtrack that I still love to listen to twenty years later. ( I told Rube that this morning on Twitter and he mentioned the number of years and I told him NOT to repeat it. What did I do? repeated it)






Rube and I still talk. He actually read my entire blog this past year and has been very supportive of my writing. He has helped me with coding at times and feedback. I love that we tweet now instead of creatively writing notes on odd objects. He once wrote me a note on a cassette tape and I wrote him a note on an orange peel.

Thanks for going back with me. I have one more song in the series and then will be moving on to inspiring, empowered women for the rest of the month. I am excited to share their stories and hopefully be a positive light for others.

MTTB Series: The Knack of Reality Bites

For My Jennay, Christena and my cousins:

This blog had already been planned, I was tweeting with my daily music group on Twitter about it this week and this morning one of my favorite tweeps mentioned something that made the blog come spilling out across the page.

The winter of 1994, I sat in a theater and watched a movie that I highly identified with in fact, I ended up dragging everyone person I knew to watch that movie as the summer months wore on because it was at the dollar theater. Friends, cousins, anyone who would go with me. The soundtrack was played on loop endlessly in my car, my bedroom, my friends cars, I was obsessed. It was the first movie that I ever identified with so strongly though it really didn't match anything in my life at the time.

Jules circa 1994

The character played by Winona Ryder was a mix between me and my friend Christena. She reminded me of us and our style at the time. We were kind of her and she was kind of us. I think Christena will understand what I mean by this statement. I actually am a bit more like the Jeanne Garofalo character...except I am a goody two shoes.

There is a scene in the movie, where the group of friends goes to the gas station to get food. Lanie's dad had given her a gas card for graduation and they could charge the snacks. As they are in the gas station, the song ''My Sharona'' comes across the radio in the store. What happens next is one of my favorite scenes in a movie..ever ( and no, I have never smoked pot in my life, so don't think I was a stoner because people really? me a stoner? I am crazy enough without drugs)

Now I had heard this song before, it meant nothing to me. Every single time that I have heard this song since seeing this movie, I have immediately thought of this scene and did the same exact dance Jeanne does in the film. Now granted, I already danced this way before. Truly, this is my dance that I do whenever I dance, so sad but so true. I am a nerd, I admit it.

When my friend Jenni got married, I wanted to dance to this song at her wedding. When my cousin Rissa got married, all of the cousins got out on the dance floor and re-enacted the scene together. It is one of our songs. My cousin Jill loves this movie after me insisting she watch it a few years ago, she was too young the first time around.

Jenni and I 1994

Marty and I circa summer of 1994

One morning this week, I was sad after receiving some upsetting news about a friend. I shared the song with my twitter song group and said we needed to do this on a road trip someday. Then this morning, one of my favorite tweeps Nicole, said she cannot hear this song without doing the little ''Carlton'' dance .  It was time for this blog to come out and be shared!



I really don't identify with the lyrics of the song. It is all about the tune and the way it makes me feel. It takes me back to a time long ago; For me, when I hear this song, I go back to the summer of 1994, friends, college, new love and life being lived. I think of my childhood, friends and family. Of course, I really just love to bop around the room to this song being carefree and dancing, it makes me happy and cheers me up!

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