Awakening

Five years ago on Christmas morning I was standing in church singing hymns but silently praying. I clearly heard God tell me " you have a long rough road ahead."

On the way home from church that day, I found out my grandma was unwell. She died a month later, grandpa eight weeks later. The rough road was upon me. Just how long and how rough was unclear.

Then in 2007 Marty was diagnosed with renal failure. You know that story well.

In that time, I lost a few dear friends and walked a very secret,difficult, painful journey with another silently.

I woke up today from what feels like a five year coma. I have changed drastically but still am Just Jules. I feel the next leg of the journey is about me. Where am I going and what am I doing. I had been planning on furthering my education before Marty got sick. I still plan on doing that.

Of course, I plan on enjoying these last seven years of homeschooling and furthering my children's education and preparing them for college and life ahead.

I am currently praying for guidance and ask you to join me. I feel a idea building. Just want God to show me his will for me.

I'm looking forward to getting on with the living of life with Marty and the kids. Enjoying life together. We have long lists of things we want to fo,places and people we want to see.

Another day of cycling fun

Once again we were able to meet some of our favorite cyclists. This year we drove two hours to Santa Clarita. We had a choice of three different locations each two hours away. A start or two finishes, since we've only been to starts and know the drill.
We got there two hours early and got a prime location at the sign in stage. The riders must sign in each day for the race. After the come down and sign autographs.
Of course, one of the first to show up was Levi Leipheimer. For some reason, everytime we see him there is a issue. He stops signing at us everytime. Three years in a row. He did it again. It was funny the announcer on the stage was saying how nice Levi is and how he always signs for every one.  He redeemed himself by coming over after I called out to him.
Our favorite rider is Andy Shleck from team Leopard ( which is pronounced Lee o pard and I mispronounce) Trek. We called Andy over showing him our shirts we made. I role Andy," this is your year!" Pointed to my sleeve which said Andy TDF 2011 with my finger painted yellow, making a number one sign. He laughed and smiled. He's a nice young kid.
Yellow is significant in cycling, most races the leaders jersey is yellow. Just thought I would explain the mail polish.
We got to meet all our favorites and some new up and comers. On new American team Kenda wasn't in our autograph book. One of the riders took great umbridge and made their own page. We met a kid who is touted to be the next American cycling great. We even saw our favorite commentator Bob Roll.
It was a great day. The kids and I made precious memories. They came home with a ton of stuff too. Hats and cowbells are their favorites.

Zany Julie; Cycling edition

As many of you know already, Conner and I love pro cycling. We woke up to horrible news this morning that one of our favorite team's riders Wouter Weylandt was killed in a horrible crash. We spent the morning reading reports and hearing other riders speak out.

Conner turned to me and said, "This is why I like cycling because no matter if they compete against one another daily, they are just one big community and support one another when someone gets hurt."

It made me proud to have this hobby with him. So many sports are filled with over paid, poor role models. Not that anyone is perfect and sports players shouldn't be huge role models. Still, it's nice to know that he is seeing huge life lessons from the sport we enjoy.

Just wanted to record this for me to remember someday and the feeling it gave me.

Transition

Life is in transition. The blog is in transition. Back to normal, new and moving forward. I was listening to the lyrics in church today and heard the line, "This is the year of jubilee."

That's me, jubilant,triumphant and joyful. Probably obnoxiously giddy to some and annoying to others. I really don't care though. Long term burdens have been lifted and I feel light as air.

I am a different Julie, forever changed and won't ever be the same. Parts of the old Julie, that were muted and put on hold are shining through.

I have learned so many lessons these last three years about life,marriage, parenting, friendship, self created drama vs real drama, grace, judgement, mercy, acceptance. The list goes on and on.

I am so glad for the new friends who get to know the other side of me. So happy that old friends can see the new me and see how far we've come.

My focus is growing clearer by the day and where I need to go and grow in the future. I hope you all join me for the journey.

Final thoughts on the Royal Wedding

Beautiful. Simply beautiful.


I think after Charles and Di, this will go down as my favorite Royal Wedding. It might even surpass it truthfully. You could feel the deep and abiding love of the newly named Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Her dress was simple, stunning and elegant.

My favorite moments were; when Prince Harry peaked as she was walking down the aisle. When she got to William he leaned over and said, " You look beautiful.". Hearing Kate's brother read Romans 1: 1,2,9-18 and when the archbishop said, "all weddings are really royal weddings since we are sons and daughters of the creator." Or something to that effect.

I had so much fun watching with Rachel and Elizabeth. Texting with my friends Andrea, Irma,Jen, my Mom and my friend Ruben's hilarious commentary. Andrea and I particulary have gone overboard and really made our families and friends think us mad.

What wonderful memories for a life time. Thanks for being patient and letting me let loose. After the last five years of hard life, it was wonderful to let loose and be carefree. I think it was a huge release and the return of my true personality.

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I wasn't voted "Most Likely To Cry At The Movies" in high school for no reason.

For the last ten years, I have had a long standing arrangement with myself. Don't watch anything Princess Di related. When she died in 1997, I got so overly emotional that my mom had to tell me to calm down. I watched the Concert for Di and The Queen, cried through them both.

I thought maybe, I was over it and could watch some of the fabulous Royal Wedding montages out there. So last Friday, I started watching the episodes On Demand. Watching things on Princess Di is a odd experience. When I was younger, I owned every book written on her. I also have a photographic memory of sorts. So every picture is memorized and something engrained in my brain. So much of my child hood is wrapped up in her. She was my escape from reality when I was younger. I didn't play dolls and Barbies, I played Royal family; in fact, I always named all of my dolls Brittany Brittania if I did play dolls.

I made it through two of them and became overwrought. Elizabeth was sitting next to me and just started staring and said, "Mom maybe you shouldn't watch anymore." as I was thinking the same thing. I just cannot do it and really shouldn't.

What got me? Princess Di was only 36 when she died. Back then that seemed, so old to me. I am only two years shy of 36 now and the reality really hit me. None of us are promised tomorrow and I know we could all go at any age. It just really hit home.

So now, I am only watching current Royal Wedding montages and no more Princess Di stuff., I am excited about the Royal wedding this week and cannot wait for the festivities to begin.

I wouldn't wear hat, I would wear a....fascinator

My Aunt Maggie called me today and was teasing me about my Royal wedding mania. She was saying she thought I would have a dress and be making Marty renew our vows on the same day. Pfft... I am wearing pajama's! She was trying to talk me into making a hat for the event. I have actually been obsessed with the royal fascinator lately. I think my big head would look better in one of those instead. What is that you say?

That is a fascinator. They are great and way better than a hat. So don't laugh if you see me wearing one someday.

This Royal Wedding business has become mania with many of my friends feeding the monster. I put a picture up on Facebook of my Princess Di doll. Then my friend Clare sent me a Royal Wedding plate and mug, then my friend Alison gave me a Di/Kate ring. Now my friend Jan has sent me a Royal wedding party in the box. I am set for the big day. 

I have been laughing and being silly with my friends over this whole thing. They obviously find it funny too since they are being so wonderfully generous to me. What a fun way to decompress after the last three stressful years.