Saturday, May 31, 2008

Organized sport's: the ongoing saga

So Conner left a playoff game the other night and we thought that would be the last game. Well, we got a call yesterday saying that there would be another game today at 6:45. So we asked Conner what he wanted to do and he said "I will go play.", So we told him "Go, play, bat but don't expect to play catcher."

Marty and I had dicussed at great length about whether saying something was fruitful or not. You know the momma bear in me wanted to say something, but the quiet half of this family did not want to rock the boat. So I just expressed my thought's, some of which were given to me by a friend and then I stayed silent. I did a lot of praying, including praying to forgive the coach his wrongdoings. 

We got there tonight, I let Marty and Conner go over to warm up and stayed behind. I talked with the other catcher's mom who asked, "What happened? did my son say something?" and I told her the story, she was mad! She said she had no problems with them switching off innings, she was fine with that. She also agreed that this is minor's not major's and every kid should get a chance. She did tell me this was the worst team her son had been on so far, he has played every year since t-ball. So with the being the second time I had heard that, I came to the conclusion this really is just a bad team.

Conner played, he sat in a couple of innings, batted and played outfield twice. I cheered on the other kids and led the crowd in doing the same. I felt happy and good doing just that and being a good sport.

Marty told me on the way home that the coach came up to him and asked "How is Conner and his eye?", Conner had been hit in the eye and leg before the game the other day. Marty told the coach" That's not why he left?" and the coach looked puzzled" What do you mean?" and Marty said " You know that little conversation you had with Conner about catching the other day? well he thinks you told him that he wasn't "good enough" to play" so the coach says "That's not what I said or meant, I just meant he needs to work at it over the summer and get ready for next season"....Marty told him" That's not how Conner took it, you couldn't tell? he was almost in tears and when he went up to bat you could tell." and so the coach said " Well, I am sorry, I truly.." Marty stopped him and said " Look, you don't need to apologize to me, you need to apologize to Conner." so the coach did even getting down to his level. Conner forgave him and played well.

It is very obvious, that is what the coach meant. Not only did he basically say so, he basically has shown it by his actions. Obviously, the other mom didn't complain and so it has been the coach's doing. We have to just forgive him, learn the lesson and move on. Next year we will request he not be placed with that coach. Also we plan on working with him until next season and hope for better. He forgave the coach and I think has learned some valuable lesson's about life. I know that I have!

P.S. They won the game tonight and advance to the final championship round on Monday!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Organized Sports

We finally put Conner in one this year and we have ended up sorely disapointed. The coach has sat Conner on the bench the last five games or so. He has played him in the outfield one inning or so a game. Conner wanted to learn catcher and worked hard to try it out, we stated he was interested in playing that position at the beginning of the season. The coach seemed bent on playing this one boy catcher, at times it even seemed that he was forcing him. He would even put the kid's gear on for him. Conner was able to play several games trading inning's with the other boy. All of the sudden it stopped, the coach offered no explanation and we didn't ask. We try to be very laid back about things like that because every hates pushy people. Ever game Conner would go and get teary at seeing his name left off the roster. The last game he played as catcher he even got a out for the team. Conner asked the coach yesterday why and he told Conner " Well you got to play half the season as catcher." what a lie. Then today he told Conner " You weren't good enought to play catcher, you weren't fast enough behind the plate." WHAT! He is ten years old, the coach should have come to us and explained it. Who the heck tells a ten year old they aren't good enough? We told Conner he could leave the game and he did, why sit there and let your kid be mistreated. 

The coach played the same boys over and over, upon reading the rule book tonight we noticed that was a rule breaker. He also continued to let the other boy play without a catcher's mitt even after the league president told him he had to. He stopped having pratices about 3 1/2 weeks ago and didn't seem to be interested in teaching boys who weren't already good. This is a non tryout league that says "Winning at all costs is not allowed". I am very disapointed and my son is devastated. I told him life is not fair and that we are proud of him, I also told him to never let someone's opinion of him become truth to him.

What is wrong with the world? No wonder kids get into to so many bad things. Why are we making kid's grow up so fast? I am so heartsick over this and feel awful that this has happened.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Over hill, over dale

As always today I think of my family members who served our country well. My Grandpa Brown was very proud of his service in the US Army, he gave his eye in service of our country. He taught me to be proud and honor those who serve. He also took the time to teach me about my other grandfather who served in the US Army as a cook. Whenever I hear that Army song a tear is never far from my eye as I think of Grandpa. He truly was a member of the greatest generation!

I took the kids to the memorial day service at the cemetary we go every year to honor Jimmy who gave his life for our country. It was a very interesting service this year and definitely not as good as in years past.

I am proud of these three men who served our country and want to share them with you.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Here is Elizabeth getting her Sparky plaque, she finished her club and will be moving up. We are really excited she worked hard to earn it.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Conner wins Clubber of the year

Tonight was AWANA awards and Conner received a huge honor. He was awarded Clubber of the year for his club out of 20 plus boys! We are so proud of our "buddy"

Saturday, May 17, 2008

We will never forget

May 17,1987 

I am sitting on the floor of our apartment in Buena Park watching a tv show. I don't remember what I was watching but, all of the sudden I see some little yellow words across the screen. The words were scrolling and I read them " Uss Stark hit by Iraqi bomb in the Persian gulf, ship badly damaged with some dead." I yelled out to my mom, come quick I think this is Jimmy's ship. She comes in and reads it and says "No, I don't think so" and I said "yes, it is". So she called my Gramie to find out, she wasn't sure but I told them to go read the ashtray Jimmy had given her. Sure enough, the 10 year old was right. Jimmy was my mom's cousin on her dad's side, Aunt Pat was her only remaining relative on her dad's side and she was very close. Her Dad and Aunt were raised by different relatives when their mother was abandoned by their father in the 30's. Aunt Pat was everyone's favorite and her boys were like brothers to my mom. I loved going to visit Aunt Pat and seeing my cousins, Jimmy was my particular favorite of the bunch.

The next morning, the news came Jimmy was killed. He was sleeping in his quarters when the missile hit and he never woke up. I will never forget seeing my Aunt on the news with that look you see on all military parents face. Cold, shocked, devastated never to be repaired by anything and something a parent should never face. The next few days I watched our families grief play out on the TV screen. I remember seeing the pictures of the bodies coming home on the plane, hearing Reagan address the families. One particular memory for me is being at school and having to read a newspaper article in my GATE class, I got in trouble for drawing a mustache on the ship's commander. I had to explain my grief to the teacher and she let me slide, I remember going home and seeing a newspaper with my mother's tear strewn face on the front as my Aunt and Uncle accepted the flag of their son.

I used to think about it a lot especially when I would go to Aunt Pat's house and see the letters from Reagan hanging on the wall. She would go to the cemetery every year to see his flag rose above in the parade of flags. She passed away a few years ago and Jimmy's memory has not been forefront anymore. Today I decided to carry on for her and remember him as he should be remembered. He served our country proudly and paid the ultimate price, We will never forget.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Transplant update

I probably should go back and start numbering these things, that might make it easier to follow.

(A/N I really should have listened to myself. Four years later gathering these things one by one)

Well, we are back from vacation and getting ready to face the music. I can't believe it has been one year since we received the diagnosis of renal failure. It has gone fast in many ways but agonizingly slow in other ways. We have lived month to month, day to day, minute to minute this past year, normal really but not normal. Most people see Marty every week or day and have no clue what is going on with him. It think it is hard for them to believe this guy who looks normal is sick, really sick. Truly a testament to my husband and his steadfast determination to be the best he can be.

So here is the latest, next week Marty will go to the doctor for his appointment. We are expecting to receive a surgery date for catheter placement. This will enable him to do peritoneal dialysis at home. This means I need to do a few things around the house to prepare our room. Things need to be as sterile as possible to ensure Marty will remain infection free and not have to go on hemo-dialysis.

It has been a journey that we couldn't have done with out God and our faith in him. He has answered so many prayers for our family. He has allowed some of this to be on our terms and so far only one thing has been something he told us to do. That is the dialysis end of things, it was our prayer Marty would never have to go on dialysis. In some ways I think he is showing Marty not to fear and to trust in him. I think he is showing Marty just because things were one way for his dad doesn't mean it will be that way for him. Even though it has been a "yes" to dialysis God has still let Marty come to terms and get used to things on his time. For me I feel like I am on a narrow path with blinders on. 

I know what I am supposed to do and nothing can stop me. My focus right now is on my home life and taking the best care of Marty I can and being a helper to him. I have had to take on about 99 percent of all household tasks. I am doing well and trying to train the kids to help with some things too. I am joining a Master's swim team this summer as a outlet for myself, I am looking forward to the physical activity.( This didn't happen until 2011 after transplant)

Prayer requests:
For Marty to be infection free
For the surgeon to do a good job
That Marty will tolerate the dialysis and not suffer
For a quick heart catheter appointment and for good results

yada,yada, yada

When we went skiing, I noticed the sun made Elizabeth's face splotchy. Then when it started getting sunny I noticed every time I sun blocked her she got splotchy. Almost like hives all over the places I put the sunblock. So I am now looking for allergy free sunblock and really hoping we don't have to go to the dermatologist.

Max is driving me nuts, he really can get overbearing and sometimes I think he needs Prozac.

We ended up buying a new love seat today because our one year old recliner broke. I am going to fight for a repair on it. I did find out it is under warranty, now just to find the blasted receipt. We bought a love seat because we need more room anyways.  I am thinking about selling the recliner and couch and buying another love seat because it is super comfy. It looks almost identical to the one's we own but chocolate brown.

The garden is getting huge and growing really well. So far the zinnia's, gladiola's, marigolds and phlox are growing. The sunflowers are big already and I can't wait to see how big they get. You can see sunflowers one,two and three in the post.

Comments, I think they are difficult for people to make on blogger. I know I have a steady readership and many tell me they read the blog. I just think the comment format is awful  on blogger, since I frequent many other blogs and comment on almost all of them. I really like the format over on blog-city better but won't be switching. I have a blog tracker embed in my blog and can see where I get hits from and how many. I am running about 45 a week now, even though it doesn't matter and that is not the reason why I blog. I heard about it from A and really liked the idea of having stats.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother's day

I woke up this morning to Conner carrying in our white board loaded with food. He had made me cereal,toast, coffee and a banana for breakfast.

 Then he gave me two cards made on notebook paper, the first one said " I love you mom your the best mom. Love Conner" and the second one had a picture of a house inside the house it said " I love my mom. You put love into this house, you make it run." awww, I was so surprised and actually thought the second one was from Elizabeth because it was written so well. Writing is so hard for Conner and not something he just does, so it really brought me to tears.

Then Elizabeth got up and gave me one of her teddy bears with a card. It said " I love my mom, sometimes she is mad, sometimes she is happy. But I still love her she is my mom." then she wrote Psalm 100 on the back. Marty came home and brought me a card and then we went to church. He bought me a salad from Chili's after and had the kids do some chores for me.

I laid down for a nap to be awoke by Conner yelling at Elizabeth. So Marty decided to go check on them and told me that Conner had taken apart the sink. He was doing dishes for me and something clogged the drain, so he took the drain off and fixed it. By the time we heard him it was put back together. He came in crying and told me that " I worked so hard and now all my work is messed up." and Marty told him " That is what your momma deals with everyday". I was really sweet and a nice gift from Conner.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Brevity of life

Carrie lost her baby last week, she went for her first appointment and they couldn't find a heartbeat. She was 8 weeks pregnant, the very same time I lost my baby in my second pregnancy. I think it is strange that we both would lose a baby at the same exact time in both of our second pregnancy's. I talked with her for a long time today and shared my heart with her about my loss and told her to let herself feel the loss because I put mine away. She listened and talked back, we ended up talking for over a half hour. I told her I loved her at the end and she just paused and said " Okay, I will talk to you later." maybe someday she will be able to say it back......hard to tell. I thought Blake being born on my anniversary would bring us together but it didn't. Her new fiance even has the same birthday as Conner. Who knows, I remember the promise given to me and trust that someday it will happen.

Sacramento tales

There are a few stories that my family would like me to preserve for posterity from our time in Sacramento. 

The first being: We decided to go to the movies in Citrus heights at the mall, so we drove over there and parked, we started walking and decided to go back to the car for Marty and I to have a discussion. We get in the car and start hearing this lady blare the horn, after two minutes we realize she is honking at us and wants the space. Now after a minute or two she should have realized that we weren't leaving but she didn't. It got so bad the I had to pull out and give her my spot instead of getting out and confronting her. I found a spot on aisle over  but boy was I peeved, the nerve of some people, guess what? She just sat in the spot car running and we never did see her get out.

Second tale: The next night we decided to grab some Taco Bell instead of going to a restaurant. We get in the drive through lane and there are two cars ahead of us, the girl in the first car is taking forevah to order and the guy in the second car starts hanging his head out the window in disgust. Finally he gets up to order and goes forward to pay, we order and pull forward to pay. When we pull forward the guy in front is still there, all of the sudden he starts waving his arms at the people inside and tapping on the drive thru window with his credit card. Marty, the kids and I are in stitches by now cracking up at the impatient man in the roller skate car. He finally gets the guy to come to the window and pays. We pull forward still laughing to be greeted by the drive thru operator, I ask him to repeat my order and he does, then he says " Is that all cause I gotta go..." we start busting up laughing and he walks away. The next guy comes up and we ask him to check our order, he starts telling me which burritos are which but gets confused and a guy comes up behind him and grabs the burritos out of his hand and proceeds to tell us what is what. We get the food and drive away, Conner says " Mom, this story is too good not to share!"

Final tale:
Yesterday, I decided to go get pizza and bring it back since we were all exhausted. Conner comes with me, Marty and Elizabeth stay behind. I went to one pizza place to find nobody there willing to come take my order, so I walked out and left. I drove back in a direction I am familiar with and found another one.  We order and leave to get some groceries, I pull out of the driveway into traffic stopped at a red light. I am kinda close to the person I pull out behind but not anything unusual for pulling out of a driveway. All of the sudden the guy throws it in reverse and starts backing up, I throw it in reverse and back up instead of honking ( I really must learn to honk) and the guy waves his hand to thank me. Then he just sits there instead of changing lanes like I thought he was doing. Then the light turns and I realize he was being a big old jerk and backing up because he thought I was too close. Needless to say I was really angry about the whole situation and wished I had honked or let him back into me!

Moral: Don't come to Sacramento and drive because people are horrible,impatient drivers around here and you might find yourself losing your cool.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Old friends 14 years later

Left to right, Elizabeth, Julie, Heather,Christopher, Kenny and Conner

Elizabeth at 8

Thursday, May 1, 2008

blog vacation

We are in Sacramento this week vacationing, well actually Marty is going to class all day and the kids and I are sight seeing. We have been having breakfast together as a family, then Marty goes off to class and we come back to do school. Then we have been going swimming and meeting up with old friends. We have seen Heather, one of my best friends in High school and Chris, one of Marty's best friends and the best man in our wedding. It has been fun to see their families and hang out together. Heather and I are taking our kids to the Capitol tomorrow, we all went on a field trip with their homeschool group today. My kids love Heather, in particular Conner loves Heather since she is great with boys. She drove him down on the lake bed of Folsom lake and he was in love. He told me " Mom, your friend Heather is a stunt driver." It is so fun to be grown up and mom's hanging out with our kids. I will be sharing pictures hopefully soon, right now my Mac is still misbehaving and I can't download pics.