Monday, November 26, 2012

Happy Birthday Cousin Series: Happy Birthday Kyle

I must admit, I am already in tears and I haven't typed a word. This is going to be a hard blog to write for me and is one of the most painful stories of my life. I have been stewing over this for a month or so now.

 If you are a long time reader, friend or family then you will know that I love my cousins. They are truly my closest friends in life. This story is much different than the others and something that I hope with time will change. As you know, I always strive for transparency and honesty on this blog. You all know that I am also a Pollyanna with unending hope.

To my cousin Kyle on his birthday:

Kyle is one of only two cousins on my Mom's side. He is a few years younger than myself closer in age to my sister Carrie. He is the only child of my Mom's brother Greg. Two cousins you think would be easier to know than 12 cousins, right? wrong.

Kyle and I holding hands in a picture with my parents and sisters.

We grew up the first few years of his life being baby sat by our Gramie. I remember watching cartoons with him, eating breakfast with him, watching him crawl up on the counters, playing with his ping pong gun and army men toys. I loved spending time with him at Gram's house.

An almost complete picture of my Grandparents with their grandchildren. Kankad, Gramie, Kim, Julie, Kyle and Carrie

They were truly wonderful times and I am thankful for my super memory that can recall them in a instant. I never knew that I would have to hold on to them for a lifetime. After my Kankad passed away, life changed drastically for our family.

Sadly, Kyle's Dad didn't live up to his responsibilities and his mom Teri was faced with a tough choice. She had to not let Kyle visit any longer. As a mother, I applaud this choice and to this day think she made the right decision in a difficult circumstance. It is tough to be a mother and not have support. I will always stand by her decision. It was truly my uncle's fault and he never made a move to change it. Something that I have worked years and years to let go of.

I remember crying and crying about not being able to see Kyle anymore.I remember driving by his house and seeing him outside, yelling that we loved him. Then he didn't go to the same school anymore and I didn't see him on the playground.

Years passed, 11 years if I am not mistaken. We didn't see Kyle and then one day in 1995 a miracle happened and Kyle showed up at my Gramie's house. He wanted to see his Dad and his mom took him to visit. I remember rejoicing that we could see and hug Kyle again.

On the very best day of my life, my cousin Kyle was there! He was at my wedding and I have complete family pictures. 

Clare ( my adopted British sister), Aunt Jeanette, Mom, Shawn ( ex brother in law), Gramie, Kelly Ann, Teri, Kyle and Uncle Greg.

This next picture captures one of the best moments of my adult life

Kyle hugging me on my wedding day

Sadly, my uncle never changed even after his second chance. More bad choices were made and Kyle went away again. I admire you for making such a big effort to get to know your Dad. I will always be sad that in the end not even his son could get through. I am so thankful that you tried and were there even at the very end.

 Thankfully Myspace was created which reconnected me with Kyle. We have been online buddies for years. Social media has brought us together and for that I am so grateful.

I have found that we love much of the same music, we share a mutual love of A Christmas Story. He is wickedly funny with a strong sarcastic gene. He is a hard worker, a faithful husband with a very full and promising life. He is one of two remaining with the Davis name.

Hopefully someday we can meet again and visit. I will always be here for you Kyle and hopefully someday we can be close. All I can do is show you that I am different and a really good cousin to my other cousins. I may not see you, talk to you often but I love you just as much as the others.

Happy Birthday Kyle, you have a very special place in my heart and I wish you all the best in life. You deserve happiness, light and joy.