The Princess and I

About a year ago, I made a edit to my code on the blog and messed up my archives. I can't link you to this old post, so I will borrow some of the text to mark the date. This is from an original blog titled ''The Queen'' my review of the movie starring Helen Mirren based on the death of Princess Diana. Everyone knows of my obsession, if you don't then you really don't know me but I will tell you a bit of my story in this piece. Where was I when Princess Diana died:

It all started when I was five and my older sister got me up at 3 am to watch the wedding of Charles and Di. All little girls dream of being a princess and watching that wedding with all of the flowers,silk,tulle and diamonds I was enthralled. A real life fairy-tale and I never read another fairy-tale again. I would beg my parents to buy me Princess Di books and magazines. At one point, I had every book written on Princess Diana. For a period of two years, I would cut out the picture of the Princess Di bride doll every time my Gramie got a new Good Housekeeping or Enquirer. I knew every member of the Royal family before I knew all the presidents or states.

 I got a cabbage patch and a new book on Princess Di the same Christmas in 1984 and which one do you think I still have? My favorite birthday present of all time? When I was nine I was informed I was getting something big , bigger than a breadbox and smaller than a horse. My two grandmothers got together and bought me the Princess Di Bride Doll by the Danbury mint. I was shocked and amazed as I pulled her out of her box , smelled the lace and tulle and saw the "real'' cubic zirconia tiara! I put her back in the box and up in the closet awaiting a special case for her. She is so big she doesn't fit a standard doll case plus she has a 5 foot train and veil that make her even bigger. I would take her down and look at her every once in awhile but in the box she remained and eventually moved to my Gramie's for safe keeping.

Fast forward to 1997.. I am married and pregnant with my first child and the Princess Diana fairytale is long gone. I am adult and have seen my fantasy of Diana collapse into reality. The Sotheby's auction was that summer and I was hoping to get the auction book which was autographed. Marty's dad had passed away and I inherited his Grandma's china cabinet. So we drove over to Gram's to bring the doll home and display her for the first time. I go into the closet and drag out the black trash bag containing the box. I decide to take a peak and check her out and Marty was laughing at me.

 My Gram comes into the room and says "You better come see the news on the television. It's Diana she has been in an accident" all of the sudden fantasy and reality collided. It was real she was in Paris and there has been a wreck. I grabbed the doll went home to watch the events unfold.

I had a answering machine full of messages as I get home with people calling to tell me the news. My dad called to ask me if I had heard the news? As we were talking and he says " did you just see that?" and I said "no" and he says "She is gone".  My Dad delivered the news to me, my childhood idol was gone.

 I am a hysterical mess over someone I didn't know. I guess for me it was the same as it was for many when Elvis died or Kennedy died. I had people calling me for days offering their condolences and people at work doing the same. I wanted to go to LA to the embassy to sign the condolence book but Marty couldn't go and I was too pregnant to go alone. So my friend/co-worker Catt went with me to LA to sign the book a truly kind gesture. Days later,I once again got up at 3 am to watch the funeral and this time cried so hard from grief and sadness mixed with anger.

It's been 17 years ago today, I miss her, wonder what she would have become? People still give me Princess Diana books, when the royal wedding came along I received gifts from around the world. Princess Di still lives in my closet. She made a brief appearance in decor for William's wedding. Really can't wait for Harry to get married, I have all kinds of fun things to put up.In fact, I saw my paper cups my friend Jan gave me and thought with a sigh, ''Can't wait until Harry gets married.'' I plan on dragging my friend Andrea to London for that, we should have gone last time!

 Time has passed by so quickly just taking a moment to stop and remember....

I wasn't voted "Most Likely To Cry At The Movies" in high school for no reason.

For the last ten years, I have had a long standing arrangement with myself. Don't watch anything Princess Di related. When she died in 1997, I got so overly emotional that my mom had to tell me to calm down. I watched the Concert for Di and The Queen, cried through them both.

I thought maybe, I was over it and could watch some of the fabulous Royal Wedding montages out there. So last Friday, I started watching the episodes On Demand. Watching things on Princess Di is a odd experience. When I was younger, I owned every book written on her. I also have a photographic memory of sorts. So every picture is memorized and something engrained in my brain. So much of my child hood is wrapped up in her. She was my escape from reality when I was younger. I didn't play dolls and Barbies, I played Royal family; in fact, I always named all of my dolls Brittany Brittania if I did play dolls.

I made it through two of them and became overwrought. Elizabeth was sitting next to me and just started staring and said, "Mom maybe you shouldn't watch anymore." as I was thinking the same thing. I just cannot do it and really shouldn't.

What got me? Princess Di was only 36 when she died. Back then that seemed, so old to me. I am only two years shy of 36 now and the reality really hit me. None of us are promised tomorrow and I know we could all go at any age. It just really hit home.

So now, I am only watching current Royal Wedding montages and no more Princess Di stuff., I am excited about the Royal wedding this week and cannot wait for the festivities to begin.

I wouldn't wear hat, I would wear a....fascinator

My Aunt Maggie called me today and was teasing me about my Royal wedding mania. She was saying she thought I would have a dress and be making Marty renew our vows on the same day. Pfft... I am wearing pajama's! She was trying to talk me into making a hat for the event. I have actually been obsessed with the royal fascinator lately. I think my big head would look better in one of those instead. What is that you say?

That is a fascinator. They are great and way better than a hat. So don't laugh if you see me wearing one someday.

This Royal Wedding business has become mania with many of my friends feeding the monster. I put a picture up on Facebook of my Princess Di doll. Then my friend Clare sent me a Royal Wedding plate and mug, then my friend Alison gave me a Di/Kate ring. Now my friend Jan has sent me a Royal wedding party in the box. I am set for the big day. 

I have been laughing and being silly with my friends over this whole thing. They obviously find it funny too since they are being so wonderfully generous to me. What a fun way to decompress after the last three stressful years.

The Queen

So Marty and I went out on a date to see The Queen a movie about the Queen of England and her response to the death of Princess Diana.

I have been dying to see this movie since first hearing of it several months ago. But, I would have to wait since it was only showing in limited release and since I live in a small town you know we didn't get it. So finally after months of waiting and awards season came along it showed up in our theatre.

Why am I so obsessed you ask?

It all started when I was five and my older sister got me up at 3 am to watch the wedding of Charles and Di. All little girls dream of being a princess and watching that wedding with all of the flowers,silk,tulle and diamonds I was enthralled. A real life fairytale and I never read another fairytale again. I would beg my parents to buy me Princess Di books and magazines. For a period of two years, I would cut out the picture of the Princess Di bride doll every time my Gramie got a new Good Housekeeping or Enquirer. I knew every memeber of the Royal family before I knew all the presidents or states.

 I got a cabbage patch and a new book on Princess Di the same Christmas in 1984 and which one do you think I still have? My favorite birthday present of all time? When I was nine I was informed I was getting something big , bigger than a breadbox and smaller than a horse. My two grandmothers got together and bought me the Princess Di Bride Doll by the Danbury mint. I was shocked and amazed as I pulled her out of her box , smelled the lace and tulle and saw the "real'' cubic zirconia tiara! I put her back in the box and up in the closet awaiting a special case for her. She is so big she doesn't fit a standard doll case plus she has a 5 foot train and veil that make her even bigger. I would take her down and look at her every once in awhile but in the box she remained and eventually moved to my Gramie's for safe keeping.

Fast forward to 1997.. I am married and pregnant with my first child and the Princess Diana fairytale is long gone. I am adult and have seen my fantasy of Diana collapse into reality. The Sotheby's auction was that summer and I was hoping to get the auction book which was autographed. Marty's dad had passed away and I inherited his Grandma's china cabinet. So we drove over to Gram's to bring the doll home and display her for the first time. I go into the closet and drag out the black trash bag containing the box. I decide to take a peak and check her out and Marty was laughing at me.

 My Gram comes into the room and says "You better come see the news on the television. It's Diana she has been in an accident" all of the sudden fantasy and reality collided. It was real she was in Paris and there has been a wreck. I grabbed the doll went home to watch the events unfold.

I had a answering machine full of messages as I get home with people calling to tell me the news. My dad called to ask me if I had heard the news? As we were talking and he says " did you just see that?" and I said "no" and he says "She is gone".  My Dad delivered the news to me, my childhood idol was gone.

 I am a hysterical mess over someone I didn't know. I guess for me it was the same as it was for many when Elvis died or Kennedy died. I had people calling me for days offering their condolences and people at work doing the same. I wanted to go to LA to the embassy to sign the condolence book but Marty couldn't go and I was too pregnant to go alone. So my friend/co-worker Catt went with me to LA to sign the book a truly kind gesture. Days later,I once again got up at 3 am to watch the funeral and this time cried so hard from grief and sadness mixed with anger.

So here we are almost 10 years later and this movie comes out. I no longer follow the Royal family and that is just a sepia-tone memory tucked away in the file cabinet of life. I go to see the movie and it was a flood of emotion that I am not sure ten years is long enough to relive just yet. A docu-drama with actual footage mixed between the acting. I was able to see things I have never seen before and live it again. Helen Mirren nailed QEII and deserves a Oscar at one point she was walking toward a room and it felt as if I was watching the real Queen. I can see why only Helen Mirren got award nods because it is all about her character and Tony Blair in the days following Diana's death. The old regime and the new and both fighting for their ground in Britian. To wrap this book up... Highly recommend to any anglophile out there but if you don't know about the Royal family and could care less wait until it is a blockbuster in the old release section because this movie will bore you to tears. To my wonderful husband, Thank you for sitting through this with me and reliving something you would like to forget all over again. It meant the world to me!

I want to go to England

My life long dream is to go to England and I have never been.

 Now I am desperate to go next summer for the Princess Di concert and memorial. It was announced today and I would walk to go! I cant believe it has been ten years since Catt and I went to LA to sign the condolence books and since Lionel walked up to me and told me he was so sorry for my loss. It also means Conner is almost ten since I was pregnant and I remember people telling me to calm down because they were worried I would lose the baby. I cant believe it has been that long.

  It was my life long dream from 5 to meet Princess Di and she was the epitome of my childhood. Now almost ten years have gone by since the day that dream died and I cant believe it. Times flies faster and faster the older you get.