Months drag on, as September looms closer,my birthday draws near. On my birthday, it will mark one year since I spoke with my dear tweep Just4ALE. I am dreading the fall and the anniversaries it will bring reminding me that ALE is gone. I am one who loves deeply, a friend is a friend for life, and when they leave this life before me, that changes nothing for me. Thankfully, I am not floating along on this sea of grief alone, I have a lifeboat filled with beautiful women. ALE's Girls were drawn together in a supernatural way that really only we understand.
The day ALE found her ''soft place to land'', ( this is a poem and term she clung to while battling cancer, something that gave her hope and her wish for the future) I was a wreck, I didn't know who to turn to or talk to. The one friend I did know, Perry was really struggling with her own grief. Having tweeted with ALE for some time, I knew her close friends on Twitter's handles, so I started tweeting them randomly. I felt so alone, floating along in a sea of grief, drowning in something that nobody else around me understood.
These wonderful women, started tweeting me back. Her dear Twitter friend 1Lavishone was a rock, she took ALE's followers under her wing in her own time of grief. She was my rock in those very early days and started bringing all of ALE's girls together. Somehow, a group of women formed, a life boat in a raging sea of grief.
For me, I feel that ALE herself orchestrated this group. It was her friendship, spirit and personality that drew us together. Those first tenuous days of grief, we started picking up members one by one. There were lengthy DM sessions, sharing our memories and feelings. We all loved this dear women, who made us each feel special and one of a kind. An amazing women had built herself a network of amazing friends and left behind a grief support group like no other.
My tweeps grew tired of hearing about my grief, at one point I even lost a follower over it. One friend told me I did kind of drag it out. They didn't know this wonderful women, they wouldn't understand the gravity of losing a friend to cancer at a young age. I don't fault them, they just didn't know her and it really didn't matter to them.
Thankfully, ALE's girls formed and have stuck together. I love that when I hear a song that reminds me of ALE, I can tweet the girls and mention it. This past week, one of ALE's dear follower Lipca tweeted 1Lavishone that hearing about Comic Con reminded her of ALE. I jumped in and was able to share how I felt the same way. We all miss seeing Twitpics of food, her dogs Maya and Riley, her take on the Twilight fandom, watching her play TwiFicTuesday, her calling us ''cutie'', and her love of classic Rock. We can share the little nuances of grief, things about ALE that we miss and grieve. In our own way, we are still keeping her on Twitter with us.
This morning, I woke up to a group tweet sharing the love of being ALE's girls. 1Lavishone said, ''I want to keep us all together forever.'' I know we will be, we have become each others ''soft place to land'' a safe place to share our feelings safely and freely. We don't judge the weird way our grief affects us, we understand in a way others wouldn't. For me, I am so thankful that I haven't had to navigate this alone and have had several shoulders to lean on.
It has been wonderful to make new friends. I was able to meet up with 1Lavishone and PerryMaxed to eat breakfast at ALE's favorite place, and celebrate her friendship together. One of our members even made necklaces for us to wear. I often wear my leather strand with peace,love and music represented, those were ALE's twitter avatar and saying. It is such a comfort to all of us that wear them proudly.
|Me with my ALE necklace|
I am so thankful for these women, I have come to love them all dearly and now they have become friends as well. They are my lifeboat in the sea of lonely grief and I hope that I am part of their's as well. Thank you ladies for being wonderful and allowing me to be a part of your group. Not one of you turned your nose up to a stranger, instead everyone took everyone else in and accepted them immediately. It is an amazing thing to share in and be part of. I know we are honoring our amazing friend and somewhere in her soft place, she is smiling brightly.
Much love to 1Lavishone our beautiful leader, PerryMaxed, MooSpot, Lipca, Mostlyalurker, Dreamweaver, and Milk402. You've all become very dear to me and I am so grateful to be a part of this group. We didn't have a choice in losing our friend to the effing cancer, as ever with her giving spirit in the end our beautiful ALE gave us a lasting gift, seven new friendships none of us expected. Like 1Lavishone said today, ''It gives me such a warm feeling to think of her and all of us.'' that is exactly how we all feel. What a wonderful blessing, I hope someday that we call all meetup in one place at the same time. What a dream come true that would be.
Thank you ALE for the last precious gift, we all miss you so much and always will. You may have gone too soon but you are still a part of Twitter with this precious group of friends.