Tuesday, July 14, 2009

20 months and counting

Last week marked the 20 month milestone, one we never thought we would reach. Truthfully, we only thought we would wait a year. So the fact we reached 20 months was quite disheartening, just because we thought it would be done. On the good side, God has answered so many of your prayers and things have be going well. Still never had a infection, still working and feeling somewhat better the past week or so. We know we aren't forgotten, but sometimes in the quietest hours it feels that way.

 Sometimes it is hard living with a chronic disease, you look normal on the outside yet on the inside you are sick. People tend to forget things are really not normal with your family. Sometimes this is a comfort, it means that God is being glorified and giving us strength. But sometimes it can be frustrating when people expect you to do all the things you normally do. Lately, we can do the bare minimum to get by, extra really doesn't work so well with our schedule.

Also, I am the friend that keeps contact. I am not the friend that everyone calls, the same thing with family. So often the silence is deafening when you don't hear from people you care about. At times it feels like they do not care at all. I have been especially struggling with this part lately, it really isn't important in the scheme of things but it still hurts.

The other part is life if on hold. We can't take trips, we can't plan trips, we can't go very far. It is so hard to sit by and watch life and opportunities pass you by. Even not being invited hurts, even if you know if reality is....you can't go.

So basically, we have gotten to a really hard part. A part where I am not doing so well, a part we will get through but the part that changes you.

Hebrews 13:5 b "and be content with what you have, because God has said,
   "Never will I leave you;
      never will I forsake you."[a] 6So we say with confidence,
   "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. "