Happy 10th birthday Elizabeth

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PS if you want to watch Conner's click on the 10th birthday slideshow tag and you can view it. Be sure to go mute the music at the bottom.

Humbled

I am so humbled today, someone did something so nice for me. She wrote kind words about me and encouraged me greatly. As we all know, these days have been weary and sometimes bleak, but as of late God has been blessing my socks off. Just when I think he is done, he does something more to show me how proud of me he is and that he cares for me.

 The other night in my cyber travels as a night owl, I ended up chatting on Facebook with a friend whom I am getting to know better. She moved her not too long after Marty was diagnosed and I haven't been able to get to know her very well. But the door has started opening for us to know each other better.

She recently started a blog and you all know, I love to read blogs and hear stories of others journeys. I met two of my very best friends via blogging and I now feel like a cyber auntie of sorts to their children. I know more about their kids than I do my own nieces and nephews. Anyhoo, getting back to Maribeth. She has been writing about her journey as a new wife and mother in a strange place. I highly identify with this journey since it is a path that I have traveled myself. After we chatted, she said she was going to mention my blog on her blog. Little did I know she would write a blog about me! I am so humbled at the way she views me and my walk. Sometimes, I am ashamed at the hard things that have happened in my life. Sometimes, I just feel like hiding them and pretending that they aren't there. But they are and this is the path that God has chosen for me. I have had some wonderful things in my life but there have been some not pretty parts to it either. So when I read it and saw my feelings written by someone else, it was a surreal experience. You can click on the title to read it or click on Maribeth's name. She is a talented writer and I think she is going to go far in this blogging world.

Cute Elizabeth story

  Growing up, my Dad always called me by my full name "Julie Marie" whenever I was in trouble or sometimes just to get my attention. So imagine my suprise when I started hearing Elizabeth yelling at our dog Oscar. "Oscar Marie, you better get over here" I cracked up, so funny. No, her name is not Marie and I don't call her by her middle name when I am mad. So where she got it from is beyond me but so funny! She said she would start calling Max " Max Le Roy" to make me feel better. ( Le Roy is Marty's middle name)


 Kids do and say the funniest things Last night at Conner's baseball game I overheard her introducing her stuffed pig to a little girl.

 "This is Porkers, she is a mother of two. This is her daughter Mary Kate and this is her daughter Ashley."

 I was cracking up! So funny in more ways than one.

Spoke too soon

 Marty is tired of being tired, I am tired of talking about his illness and I am sure you are all tired of hearing about it. But it keeps going on with a unknown timeline as to when this will all end. Basically what happened is the nurse from the dialysis clinic called Monday, good news his phosphorus is down but everything else is bad. The worst part is his BUN ( blood urea nitrogen) is high along with his creatnine is high. Which means he is not getting effective dialysis. We automatically knew the reasoning for this was he has been leaving off one exchange a day. When he does four exchange a day( if you click on the word exchange you can see what that is exactly)He has low blood pressure and nausea to the extreme that he can only lay in bed and not eat. Basically this is what we call be dry, he has taken off too much fluid and is dehydrated. He can't get the fluids back in because he gets sick. In extreme cases we could take him to get a i.v. if need be but he hasn't gotten that bad. So yesterday we did four exchanges, his BP dropped, he got sick and basically had to just lay down and miss work. He got up this morning in the same state but with the addition of a low blood sugar. So we turned off his pump, called the doctors about the low BP and just asked for prayer since that is the only thing that can help us. Thankfully so many people have lifted us up today and we prayed together, he has been feeling better but...........now his BP is up high and his blood sugar has bounced back high too! Now you see our frustration and why we are having one of those dark days in the valley of sickness. Thank you all for praying.

No news is good news

My friend asked me today what was going on with Marty. She said " I figure, No news is, good news" and she is right and wrong. Things are going well to a extent, Marty has evened out somewhat as far as not feeling as ill as he was a few months ago. He has lost quite a bit of the fluid weight that was really making him feel badly, his clothes are getting big on him. His blood pressure is actually dropping low more than it is skyrocketing to uncontrollable levels. He infrequently has to take a pill to get it down, whereas before he was taking two pills a day and wearing a patch at all times. The vomiting is still a issue that comes and goes, sometimes he can eat and be fine and other times it isn't pretty. That is probably the roughest thing we are dealing with at this point, the constant stomach issues.

 We went and saw Dr.Heaney this month. He said he was "pleased with Marty's progress" and that is HUGE. We are hoping for even better blood work reports this month. We haven't heard anything and that is a good sign, if something was wrong they would call right away. So everything is okay, just really he has good days and he has bad days. When it is good it is nice and when it is bad it is stressful and difficult. Mostly he sleeps all of the time he isn't working and really only does stuff on Sunday for church. Anything else is just too much for him. He is tired of being tired.


  We are ready for transplant, it can't happen soon enough. We are ready and waiting for the call, somedays it feels like it will never happen. We thought it would happen two years ago, but obviously that didn't happen. Now it just feels like a dream, a far distant reality. Our insurance will stop covering dialysis next April and he will have to go on Medicare when that time comes. We hope that time never comes and that this will all be over by then.


That's about all that is going on right now. When our company came they saw how hard it is and experienced a bit of "cranky" Marty for themselves. I think it opened their eyes to just how rough things have gotten with his health. He really does a lot and is a testimony of faithfullness to all around him.

Promises of scripture

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)

 ³¹ but those who hope in the LORD 

       will renew their strength. 

       They will soar on wings like eagles; 

       they will run and not grow weary, 

       they will walk and not be faint.

I have read this scripture many times, heard it quoted many times and always liked it. But to say, I actually grasped what it meant until last week is a different story. As you know ( if you read my blog) a couple of weeks ago, I hit bottom. I just was worn out, overdone and really tired of everything. I had grown weary of the way things are right now. I know God is in control, that things will get better someday and this is only temporary. But to live it, everyday is hard.

 Our pastor talked with me, he prayed with me. A good friend prayed with me and shared some scripture. Then I had a virtual girl's night out with my blog besties. All of the sudden, things started to look up. Then my cousins Brianne and Sarah came to visit. I haven't seen any family besides my parents in two years. So it was huge for them to come and be with us for a few days. They left and spring break has been in full swing. I went and had coffee with a friend this morning, walked with another friend this afternoon. This weekend our good friend Rachel is coming to visit. 

God has lifted me up, he has helped me stand up and walk. I truly understand what that scripture means now. I see how just the minute you feel like you can not go on, God says "you can and you will". Life is good and I am enjoying every minute.