Wednesday, June 18, 2008

How things are going?

Things are going well, Marty has been up most days sitting on the new reclining couch. His stomach is still sore and the only way I can describe it is like a c-section patient. His stomach muscles are weak and he needs to strengthen them. I left for a bit yesterday to take a paper to the doctor and came home to find him getting sick. It was a little too soon to leave, today he came with me to do errands. He sat in the car with the A/C running and did well, I think he liked seeing the  outside world.

Tomorrow he goes to the dialysis clinic to get his bandage changed and the catheter flushed. He is scared it will hurt, I can't blame him. I think the reality of this disease is setting in for us, life has now changed. Before we were just living with a diagnosis and now we are living with a condition, very different feeling. I must admit, I am scared too! I know I haven't said that before but it is true.

Will he do well? Will he be able to work? Will it fail? Will this be long?

All things none of us can answer, they rest in the hands of God. All we can do is be faithful and grow through this time. I have been a bit emotional the past few days, I was crying watching America's Got Talent tonight. My heart is hurting a bit, something I am praying my way through. I wonder what it will be like when the big surgery comes? I think for the most part people around us just don't get it at this point. 

As I have been struggling, I have been hearing this verse over and over in my head. It is our family's verse, it has been for years. It is still true and I hold on to it's promise.

Matthew 6:25 " Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them, Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

" And why do you worry about your clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink' or 'What shall we wear' For the Pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.