Monday, June 19, 2006

Father's day hysteria

Well, we had a nice Father's day weekend visit with my dad. He came up Saturday morning and we had breakfast and he built me some shelves in my garage and help me fix my project that I screwed up. He bought Conner a 18 volt cordless drill for unknown reasons that I am still pondering why he did that? I know why he loves that the kid is just like him and likes to encourage his adventures.

 He only built the shelves to get my stuff out of the work spacethat he built for Conner. Can you say "spoiled"? Then we went to to Fresno for dinner. We went to a restaurant that we had all never been to before and there was a 45 minute wait. So we sit down and my Dad and Marty order a drink to wait and the kids get Shirley temples.

 Finally we get to our table that faces out over the bar and bar area and entry to the restaurant. While we are  ordering, Conner asks if he can get a regular hamburger? I say ''no'' but he talks my dad into it on the basis he eat the whole thing. They have another round of Shirley Temples and the food comes for everyone except me.

 The waiter gives me some lame excuse about how there was a mistake( in other words he forgot my order) and that it will be *just a minute* so we are sitting there and they all start eating while I am waiting.

 My food finally comes, I eat one piece of my steak and hear what I think is a gag from Conner. I turn to him and say " Are you okay?"

He then says it was just a hiccup. Then I see him take a bite and kinda gag ,so I tell him "you are done and just breath through your nose" Then.......... he gives me that look and proceeds to projectile vomit all over himself and the back of the booth at least he turns his head to not get it on the table.

 I start laughing hysterically not because I think it is funny but, because I have a nervous laugh anytime something bad happens and don't know what to do. I did it one time when a co-worker fell at work and she got seriously mad until I could get someone to vouch for me that I do have this problem.

 The next thing I know we are all shoving napkins in his direction. I am laughing so hard I hurt and feel like vomiting myself. I tell Marty he has to deal with this and Conner freaks because he has to walk in front of all these people.

The waiter grabs the bus boy who is less than thrilled about cleaning up vomit and proceeds to make all sorts of comments like," oh, it is juicy right here.", " oh, that kid had quite the aim", " he must have eaten rice"( which he didnt ) " he had to many sodas,you really shouldnt have let him have that many"

Then the booths around us are staring at us and laughing or making comments to the waiter like" you need to take care of these guys for doing that." Then Elizabeth freaks out about the whole thing and is shaking and crying. She has to go to the bathroom and as I am walking her to the bathroom the bus boy is standing at the hostess stand  complaining and they all stare at us and hush up.

 Then the waiter just comes and asks me how my food is?'  I say " just get me a box and the check" my dad finishes his food which was a miracle he didn't puke. Then they bring the check and we slink out and make Conner take his shirt off and force Elizabeth into the car crying.

 FUN!FUN!FUN! Then this morning I made them breakfast and we went to go to church, she still didn't want to get in the car because she was afraid of the smell. I still didn't eat my food and haven't had much of a appetite today at all. The joys of motherhood.