Back when I started this blog five years ago, it quickly became about my grief. I wrote probably 50 blogs on the subject. So today it felt fitting to mark the day and reflect on five years. I still have days where I feel like I can just pic up the phone and call them. I especially felt this way when Marty got the call. Or days when I say something one of them would say and feel the pang of grief so strong, I feel like I can't breath. That happened yesterday when I said, "Wait for baby!"
Twice in the last month, I have found a shirt that I think is cute only to realize I love it because it was something grandma would love. Especially the yellow shirt that I liked, I never wear yellow shirts, but she wore them all the time.
About a year ago, due to a sync problem I lost about 3500 pictures from our past. One of them was this picture that Marty took and gave to me. I love this picture because it makes me feel like I am home again. There is a line in a song by Jack Johnson, he says " I took a picture, I don't like to look at." and I always think of this picture.
None of this is really going to make sense to any of you ( unless you are family). I just needed to write it out and have it for me to look at. I hate letting days pass by without saying something about them. When I write about them, it helps me feel better. They were such wonderful people and wonderful influences in my life, I can never let them go.
