Saturday, November 20, 2010

Why Christmas music makes me cry

I am shocked, I have probably close to 50 blogs about my Grandparents dying but not one on why Christmas music makes me cry. I thought I did but upon digging, I couldn't find one. So I will write one.

My Grandma loved Christmas, it was her favorite holiday. She ended up getting sick on Christmas day which was probably the hardest part besides her dying. Her favorite day of all is now a hard memory. My Grandpa would sit at the kitchen table or the dining room table and sing to us grandkids.

He loved to whistle and sing, he especially loved Gene Autry. Some of my favorite memories are him singing, "Here Comes Santa Clause" or " Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" to us as little kids. "Santa Clause is coming to town" was a staple.

I will never forget the first year without them. I was shopping in Target and I heard, " White Christmas" and just started bawling. My best friend Heather called my cell at that moment and I think she thought I was insane standing in Target bawling my head off. That year "I'll Be Home For Christmas" was one I couldn't even listen to because their house had just been sold.

Even last year, my cousin Rissa called me bawling from a mall parking lot because she heard a song that reminded her of Grandma and Grandpa. Actually, this goes for many songs even beyond Christmas songs, singers and standards were their faves and many of those songs. On Rissa's wedding day, we bawled our way through the mass while hearing the hymns that reminded us of them. Then sitting at the reception I heard a song and was fighting the tears, my aunt Patty just looked at me like "don't start". That is a whole nother blog, actually what I was going to write about today, Sob sisters.

Anyways, this year will be the fifth anniversary of our last Christmas and times with them. I actually don't think this will ever go away. My Gramie's birthday was Christmas day and I always miss her. Marty's dad loved Christmas and Christmas music also, in fact his last day alive in January he was singing "Silver Bells" while baking cookies. Marty just heard "Pretty Paper" which always reminds him of his dad.

Holidays are wonderful, they are about traditions and Christ's birth. But for some, it holds many happy memories that remind us of the past. If anything, while they are sad tears, they are happy tears also.

As I am posting this, Elizabeth says, "Hurry turn it off before she cries!"